In my past, I often found myself shrinking away from conflict, forced to suppress my feelings to appease others who were, in hindsight, undeniably in the wrong. Reflecting on these experiences, I realize how many times I accepted disrespect, thinking it was my responsibility to maintain harmony.
For instance, my high school boyfriend convinced me that it was acceptable for him to flirt with other girls and ignore my calls, claiming I was “secure enough” to handle it. I meekly replied, “Oh, I’m sorry. You’re right; I overreacted,” fully aware that I was only trying to salvage our relationship.
Similarly, in college, a friend unfriended me on social media after I questioned why she canceled our plans. Seeing her pictures with other, seemingly more exciting friends made me feel inadequate. I texted her, “It’s okay if you want to come over another day. Maybe I just forgot you were busy,” desperately hoping to avoid further conflict.
These patterns of self-doubt and excuse-making became ingrained in my interactions. However, motherhood changed everything. It became clear that I could no longer tolerate disrespect. I needed to assert my worth and ensure that those around me understood my boundaries.
Life as a mother has its challenges, including the struggle to find genuine friendships and the need to confront those who disrespect me. Though I don’t parade around with confidence like a celebrity, I recognize the importance of being a strong advocate for my child. Learning to stand up for myself was the first step, and I encourage other mothers who may feel overly sensitive to do the same. Feeling emotions is natural, but it’s not acceptable for others to dismiss our feelings while they play the victim when faced with their own discomfort.
I had a disconcerting experience at a restaurant where a waitress laughed as she accidentally spilled hot marinara sauce on me, narrowly avoiding my newborn. This situation prompted me to speak with her manager about the potential danger to my child. An apology was warranted, yet her nonchalance was unacceptable.
Another encounter with my obstetrician involved him writing inaccuracies in my medical record after I asked simple questions he couldn’t answer. I took the initiative to write an 11-page letter to his department, advocating for better training and materials for female patients. I refused to let his condescending attitude dictate my healthcare choices.
In college, I lacked the courage to voice my discomfort when a male student was allowed to observe my gynecological appointment. Fast forward to now, and I am no longer afraid to speak up, even if it’s unpopular. My needs and feelings matter.
An instance with my mother highlighted this growth. She publicly criticized my husband for being a stay-at-home dad and later attempted to impose on my family by planning an extended stay at our home. I made it clear that any arrangement would require her respect for my parenting decisions, especially after she previously accused my husband of trying to drug our son. When she dismissed my concerns as me being “too sensitive,” I stood my ground. I will not allow disrespect, even from family.
My family and friends often label me as overly sensitive, but I have recognized the importance of filtering out toxic interactions. I refuse to transform hurtful comments into sugar-coated words due to insecurity. It’s time to stop apologizing for my feelings while others speak without considering their impact.
Unfortunately, many mothers still apologize for the behavior of others or allow themselves to be treated poorly to maintain relationships that may not be worth it. I’ve decided to turn my previous passivity into a source of strength that my son will one day admire. By standing up for myself and my needs, I’ll be better positioned to advocate for my son’s well-being in all aspects of life.
While I may still be more sensitive than some, that doesn’t justify anyone’s rudeness. It’s unreasonable to expect me to silence my feelings to accommodate the disrespect of others.
In the end, I’m not “too sensitive”; I’m simply asserting my right to be treated with respect.
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Summary
The journey to assertiveness is crucial for personal well-being, especially as a mother. Recognizing one’s worth and standing firm against disrespect, even from friends and family, is essential. Sensitivity is not a flaw; it’s important to advocate for oneself and create healthy boundaries.