By: Clara Jennings
Updated: November 18, 2019
Originally Published: February 6, 2018
As a mother, I find myself grappling with the overwhelming sensation of inadequacy. Let me elaborate.
Take a look at those picture frames. My family moved into this residence nearly five years ago, and I had every intention of hanging them up. After unpacking, I placed them on the floor of my bedroom, promising myself it would be just a matter of time before they adorned our walls. Yet, here I am, staring at them five years later as they gather dust in a corner. Each time I glance at those frames, I hear that nagging voice—“I should hang them up,” or “I should donate them,” or “I should update the photos.” Yet, I do nothing, paralyzed by indecision.
My ambition extends to a collection of recipes clipped from magazines, all intended to inspire creativity in our meals. However, I find myself cooking the same dishes week after week, month after month, with no inclination to diversify.
I recently sorted through my closet and packed a donation bag of clothes. This bag has been lounging in my car’s trunk for two months, becoming a source of annoyance every time it spills out upon a sharp turn.
My desk is a chaotic landscape of paperwork, reminders, and tasks. There are incomplete items on my to-do list: transferring my wedding video to DVD before it deteriorates, contacting the insurance company regarding a medical claim, utilizing that movie pass before it expires, shredding old bills to make way for the new ones, scheduling an orthodontist appointment, and buying a birthday gift.
I’m not unique; this is the reality for many mothers. With a family of five, most days are consumed by the necessary tasks—grocery shopping, feeding the kids, taking the dog to the vet, doing laundry, and paying bills. The aspirations and desires? They linger, serving as a constant reminder of my perceived shortcomings. As I navigate through my home, I see those frames, those recipes, and those paper piles, and I feel the weight of not doing enough.
However, I am starting to realize, or rather, I need to internalize this truth: mothers are not machines. We cannot endlessly operate without breaks or we risk burnout. There’s no easy replacement if we do.
Sure, I might want to hang those frames or shred those bills tonight after the demands of the day are met, but the truth is, what I really need is to relax on the couch, cuddle up with my beloved dog, and watch some Netflix. It’s essential to shift that inner dialogue to acknowledge that needing rest doesn’t equate to laziness; it signifies my humanity.
To all the mothers out there who collapse into bed each night feeling as though they haven’t done enough, remember this: You are the driving force that keeps your family’s train on its tracks. You are the engine that fuels it and the conductor who directs it. You are remarkable, and I am confident that today, you accomplished enough.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Clara Jennings shares her struggle with feeling inadequate as a mother amidst the daily demands of family life. She highlights the overwhelming nature of unfinished tasks and the societal pressure to perform, while also recognizing the importance of self-care and acknowledging that rest is essential for well-being. Clara encourages fellow mothers to embrace their efforts and reminds them of their significant role in their families.