In the realm of autism, socialization manifests in diverse ways, as evidenced by my two daughters, who are both on the spectrum yet display contrasting social behaviors. Prior to her diagnosis, my daughter, Lily, was often labeled as “shy” or “serious.” She found large gatherings overwhelming and took time to acclimate to new individuals. While she is typically reserved and not very affectionate, her rare moments of warmth are truly heartwarming.
Lily has always faced difficulties in making friends. I recall a moment from her kindergarten days when a peer attempted to hold her hand during a song. When I asked her why she declined, she simply stated, “I don’t know her, and I prefer not to be touched by someone I don’t know well.” This seemed perfectly reasonable to me.
In contrast, my younger daughter, Mia, exhibits a vastly different personality. Prior to her diagnosis with autism, I was told that she couldn’t possibly be autistic because she was “too social.” Mia thrives on human interaction, often approaching strangers at the library to ask them to read her stories. Her affectionate nature and ability to form friendships easily endear her to many.
Understanding the Spectrum
So how can two daughters with such differing personalities both be autistic? The answer lies in the understanding that introversion and extroversion are not indicators of autism. Just as people can be right- or left-handed, autistic individuals can also fall anywhere on the social spectrum.
Lily grapples with the complexities of social interactions, perceiving friendships as filled with ambiguous rules that can be overwhelming. On the other hand, Mia struggles to comprehend boundaries and appropriate social behaviors. For instance, she might not realize that approaching a stranger and sitting in their lap isn’t acceptable, despite her innocent intentions.
Many social nuances come naturally to neurotypical individuals, but those on the spectrum may find these interactions laborious. Simple tasks like comforting someone who is sad or understanding how to reciprocate a compliment can be daunting challenges.
Teaching Social Skills
Teaching social skills requires patience. For Lily, we often utilize “comic strip conversations” to help her visualize and understand the emotions of others. I’ve found helpful resources like certain books that simplify social scenarios, equipping her with tools to navigate these interactions.
With Mia, we focus on recognizing emotions and interpreting facial expressions to enhance her understanding of how words affect others. Educational shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood effectively illustrate social concepts through relatable stories. Additionally, the Daniel Tiger app offers an engaging way for children to explore feelings.
To help Mia grasp the concept of personal space, we often use hula hoops as a visual aid. They serve as a physical representation of personal boundaries, particularly useful during outdoor meals.
Conclusion
Ultimately, being labeled as “shy” or “outgoing” does not define autism. Individuals with autism can embody both traits, illustrating the complexity of the spectrum. If only society recognized the fallacies surrounding autism.
Both of my daughters are unique and remarkable in their own right. Their experiences highlight the need for broader awareness and understanding of the autism spectrum.
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Summary: Autism presents a spectrum of social behaviors, as demonstrated by two sisters with contrasting social skills. While one struggles with forming connections, the other thrives on interaction. Understanding these differences is crucial in dispelling myths about autism.