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By: Jamie Carter
Jan. 19, 2023
Recently, while browsing through various images to adorn the corkboard in my workspace, I stumbled upon a collection of old photographs capturing moments from my early days with my partner. The snapshots included us feeding ducks in the park, enjoying a county fair, and attending a horror film festival. Each image radiated joy as we embraced each other or strolled down streets hand-in-hand. It struck me as I gazed at them: “I’m not that person anymore.”
Over the years, both my partner and I have undergone significant transformations. If friends from six years ago were to see us now, they might struggle to recognize who we’ve become, and that’s entirely positive. Our relationship has shaped us in profound ways, which is the essence of marriage. It’s meant to inspire you to evolve into the best version of yourself. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think it’s bad advice to seek change in one another. Encouraging your partner’s growth, pushing them towards becoming a stronger, healthier, and more confident individual is essential.
Think of marriage as a sports team. Members don’t necessarily try to alter each other but rather motivate, train, and practice together to reach their peak performance. That’s how my relationship feels.
My partner never pressured me to change—such actions were never in his nature. Neither did I impose changes on him. Our growth has developed gradually throughout our time together.
When I first met him, I was at a crossroads in my late twenties. Unsure of how to navigate life, I lingered in a relationship that no longer fulfilled me, worked at a job that brought me little joy, and had yet to complete my college degree despite numerous attempts. I often felt lost and lacked self-confidence, like an awkward swan searching for her place.
On days when I battled feelings of inadequacy regarding my appearance, he consistently reassured me of my beauty. During times of uncertainty, he reminded me that I had a purpose. Whenever I felt overwhelmed by school, he encouraged me to believe in my potential. Each morning, as I prepared for a career I once thought was out of reach, I found myself looking at the woman in the mirror with curiosity, asking, “Who are you? Where did you come from?”
While my appearance may not have drastically changed, I am certainly not the same person I was. The man I married? He has been instrumental in my journey. He embraced a confused young woman with low self-esteem and, with his unwavering support, helped her emerge as a woman empowered and ready to take on the world. He achieved this not through demands or critiques, but simply by saying, “I love you, and I believe in you.” That was all it took.
We achieved our growth together, yet some of it was individually driven. I completed my education, submitted job applications, aced interviews, and even started a blog. Together, we made significant life decisions, like moving to a new city, establishing a budget, and considering adoption. He has also pursued his own path, launching a business and reinforcing his beliefs.
Indeed, we are no longer the individuals we once were, but we have both emerged as better versions of ourselves because of this transformation.
So, don’t heed the advice that suggests avoiding change in your partner. It’s not about forcing them to alter who they are; it’s about fostering an environment where personal growth is celebrated. Support their ambitions, nurture their dreams, and encourage them to embrace their journey. Through marriage, both partners should cultivate self-love and confidence, learning to take charge of their shared life together.
As I reflect, I realize I am no longer the same woman, nor is he the same man. We have evolved, and that evolution has only enriched our lives.
For those considering their own journeys, resources like March of Dimes offer excellent insights on pregnancy and home insemination, while Make a Mom provides a comprehensive look at home insemination kits. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination is a reliable source for skincare advice during pregnancy and breastfeeding.
Summary: In this reflective piece, Jamie Carter discusses the transformative journey she and her partner have undergone throughout their marriage. Emphasizing the importance of personal growth within a relationship, she argues that encouraging change and supporting each other’s aspirations leads to a stronger bond. Both partners evolve into better versions of themselves, fostering an environment of love, belief, and empowerment.