The first time I attempted to end my life, I was just 17 years old. A junior in high school, I was excelling academically and seemingly on track for a promising senior year. However, beneath that surface, my reality was starkly different. I felt isolated, overwhelmed, and utterly despondent, leading me to make a fateful choice — I swallowed a handful of pills, chased down with a soda. Yet, instead of succumbing to death, I woke up the next day, alive.
Since that pivotal moment, a lot has changed in my life. Decades have passed since my last attempt, but I have resolved to discuss my experiences with suicide openly with my daughter.
Why is This Important?
Statistics reveal that, on average, 123 individuals die by suicide each day. It ranks as the second-leading cause of death among young people, with at least 25 attempts for every completed suicide. Despite the gravity of these numbers, many avoid discussing suicide, fearing that it might encourage such thoughts. Consequently, this topic remains shrouded in silence and stigma.
This silence fosters feelings of shame, which in turn breeds confusion and fear. The American Association of Suicidology emphasizes that the most effective way to prevent suicide is to engage in open dialogue about it. Conversations with teenagers about suicide can provide them a safe space to express their hidden emotions and thoughts. This vulnerability can empower them to share their pain, allowing parents, educators, and caregivers to step in and offer support.
How to Initiate a Conversation About Suicide
The key is to start gradually and thoughtfully, much like discussing sensitive subjects such as sex or substance use.
Timing plays a crucial role. Ideally, discuss suicide with your child before they encounter it in media or peer discussions. Choosing the right moment, such as during dinner or on a long drive, can help capture their attention. Begin by acknowledging the difficulty of the conversation; recognize that both you and your child may feel uncomfortable.
It can be helpful to have a reference point for this discussion. You might say, “I recently read about XYZ” or “I watched a show, like 13 Reasons Why, and wondered what your thoughts were on it.” Approach the topic directly, using the term “suicide” without euphemisms.
Be mindful not to employ language that stigmatizes the issue or could alienate your child if they have had similar feelings. Avoid phrases like “I can’t understand why anyone would try to take their life.” Instead, focus on compassionate and understanding language.
Encourage your child to share their feelings by asking open-ended questions, such as, “What do you think about suicide? Have you heard anyone mention it?” Listen without judgment, even if they express thoughts of self-harm.
Keep the lines of communication open; remember, one conversation is just the beginning. This is a topic that may need revisiting as your child matures.
When to Start These Discussions
There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Each child develops at their own pace. In my case, I encountered death early in life, while others may not confront such topics until much later. I wish someone had broached the subject with me when I was younger, but I recognize my daughter may not be ready until later.
Whenever that moment arrives, I will share my journey and challenges with suicide. I want her to understand that intense emotions can become overwhelming, and feelings can spiral out of control. But there is support, and there is hope. I aspire to be a guiding light for my daughter, providing an open ear and heart. If that means embracing discomfort, then so be it—because her life matters. Every life is valuable.
Resources for Support
For anyone navigating these challenges, resources like Make a Mom can offer additional insights, while Intracervical Insemination provides guidance on supporting loved ones facing infertility. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, Parents offers a wealth of information.
Conclusion
In summary, discussing suicide openly with our children is essential. By fostering understanding and compassion, we can help them navigate their feelings and experiences, creating a safe space for dialogue that can potentially save lives.