I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it occurred, but it has. It was a gradual transformation, almost sneaky in its approach. Occasionally, when I gaze at you, I still see that little boy with bright eyes and chocolate smeared across his cheeks, which catches me off guard when I hear the deepening tone of your voice. Who is this young man? Where did my little boy go? I swear he was just here.
These reflections are becoming less frequent, though. You’ve been growing and evolving away from me for years now. Since the day you were born, to be precise. The shifts were so minor and gradual that they often went unnoticed until, suddenly, it hit me: my little boy is no longer a little boy; he is blossoming into a man. While this is a natural progression, it doesn’t necessarily make it easier for me.
With this growth comes a newfound confidence, sometimes bordering on arrogance. I hope you realize that it’s perfectly fine to feel uncertain about what you’re doing. We’re all just navigating this journey the best we can. Honestly, even after decades of living, I still occasionally feel like an insecure teenager. It’s okay to seek help and trust your instincts — you will find your way.
Lessons to Remember
There are several other lessons I hope you’ve picked up along the way.
First, your father and I have tried to convey that the phrase “being a man” holds little significance. Forget it. The same goes for “man up.”
It’s also important to embrace your emotions. Cry when you need to, and don’t hesitate to apologize. You can be strong while also being sensitive, brave yet kind.
Practice basic courtesy: hold doors open for everyone — men, women, and anyone else. This isn’t about outdated notions of chivalry but rather simple kindness and good manners. Similarly, remember to push in your chair, lower the toilet seat, and for goodness’ sake, put your socks in the laundry basket.
Always strive to leave every place better than you found it.
When it comes to relationships, be genuine. Don’t play mind games; be honest and let your true self shine. Open your heart, even if it means risking hurt.
When it comes to sex — and yes, I am discussing this again — remember that consent is crucial. No means no. Silence means no. Even a hesitant “maybe” means no. Only a clear yes is an agreement. (And please stop rolling your eyes; yes, your mom is talking about this.)
Life has its share of unkind individuals. While there are wonderful people too, there are certainly many who aren’t. It’s not enough to simply refrain from being unkind; you must also have the courage to stand up against those who are. Advocate for yourself and others, even if the cause doesn’t directly affect you. Silence only serves those who are unkind.
Surround yourself with individuals who help you be the best version of yourself.
Despite what society might suggest, men are fully capable of grocery shopping, keeping a tidy living space, and caring for children. You are intelligent and capable. Take responsibility for your surroundings.
Be proud of who you are, but never forget the privileges you’ve received due to your gender, background, or socioeconomic status. Use those privileges to uplift others who aren’t as fortunate. Remember: “There but for the grace of God, go we all.”
Your brother is your closest ally, and you both are on the same team. Even if you argue and annoy one another, you’re essentially two sides of the same coin. Who else will truly understand your frustrations about your quirky parents?
And when in doubt, spread positivity. Lift others up and strive to make the world a brighter place.
With all my love,
Mom
P.S. Don’t forget to call your parents.