As a child, I envisioned my future home as a picturesque haven. I dreamt of a spacious backyard for my kids to play in, a bright kitchen with a large wooden table for art projects and homework, and a charming decor that felt like it belonged in a magazine. It seemed magical.
Fast forward to today, and while I do have a yard and a kitchen table, the magazine-worthy decor is nowhere in sight. Instead, it’s more of a “we have kids and pets, so our home tells a different story” scenario. Most days, I’m perfectly fine with this reality.
I embrace the chipped paint and the crayon marks on the walls. The scuffed wooden floors and the occasional carpet stain don’t bother me. I’m okay with the baseball cards strewn across the house because, despite the chaos, my home is warm and inviting. I have countless other priorities to focus on rather than stressing over interior design or micromanaging my kids around my fragile decorations.
Let’s be honest; I already have my hands full reminding my children a million times to brush their teeth and put their clothes in the laundry chute, which is conveniently placed right outside their bedroom. I don’t have the energy to worry about whether the hand towels in the bathroom are pristine and neatly arranged. (And to clarify, we don’t even have a guest bathroom!)
However, I will admit that scrolling through social media can occasionally trigger some envy. Suddenly, my home feels like a disaster, and I entertain the thought of moving or, quite dramatically, setting it ablaze.
But here’s the kicker: social media is often deceptive. Facebook lies, Instagram is misleading, and Pinterest can be downright frustrating.
Sure, some families have immaculate homes that adhere to aesthetic standards, but those are the exceptions, not the norm.
As I write this, my “workspace” consists of a battered kitchen table cluttered with old art projects, a granola bar wrapper, and various writing tools. Looking into my living room, you’d find crooked family photos and a hastily taped picture of a famous baseball player covering a family portrait. (Yes, that really happened.) And yes, a picture of a donkey is taped to the wall—because why not?
You know what? I really don’t care.
Well, that’s partially true. I do care, but only when I compare my lived-in home to the pristine, museum-like spaces I see online. Ultimately, I refuse to spend my days obsessively cleaning up after my family or investing in fancy furniture that I’d be too anxious to use.
Do you want to constantly remind your family to use coasters and avoid coloring outside the lines? Would you rather buy luxurious furniture and worry about it getting ruined, or keep that comfy couch a little longer so you can simply shrug off a juice spill? Do you want a home where everyone is afraid to make a mess, or one where they can be themselves and enjoy each other’s company?
Here’s the reality
This is a family home, and families are inherently messy.
Of course, everyone has their own threshold for what constitutes “lived-in” versus a “disaster.” For me, clutter makes me feel anxious, so I try to minimize the toys and decorations in our space. I often purge items to maintain some semblance of order. Others might find cleaning therapeutic or take joy in decorating. We all have to carve out our own joy.
So, if your home looks a bit chaotic, or your kids’ rooms resemble a war zone, or your closets burst at the seams, take a deep breath. It’s perfectly acceptable.
Chances are, most of us feel overwhelmed by our homes at some point—even those who pride themselves on cleanliness and minimalism. We grumble about crayon marks and chipped paint, and we sigh over the never-ending mess of toys and wrappers that refuse to find their way to the trash.
We shove clutter into closets and drawers to create the illusion of tidiness because we are innovative problem solvers.
This is life. This is reality. This is normal.
So, open your doors and invite people in. Stop stressing over the small stuff. You’re doing just fine.
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In summary, remember that a home is a reflection of the lively, messy, and beautiful lives lived within it. Embrace the imperfections, and focus on the joy that family brings.