I have a cherished photograph of my mother. I’m sure many of you do, too. You know the one — the image you keep returning to, which fills your heart with warmth and nostalgia? It’s that photo of your mom that truly captures her essence. Perhaps it has faded over the years, taking on a greenish-gray hue, with corners that are starting to curl. Yet, it perfectly represents the woman who raised you, and you treasure it deeply.
My favorite picture of my mom? It’s of her lounging in a black bikini on a classic teak patio chair, sunbathing in the summer of 1977. She exudes beauty and confidence. Not a toy or child in sight.
Do You Have a Photo Like That?
Now, let me ask you: do you have a photo like that of yourself? I’m not talking about that post-delivery snapshot in the hospital, grinning while cradling your newborn. Nor the one in your wedding dress or the silly selfie you took with your kids last weekend. I mean a stunning image of YOU. Just you, being authentically YOU. No titles like wife, mom, or friend—just YOU.
Recently, I decided to search for that kind of photograph of myself. Surely, I must have one, right? I sifted through a stack of 12 scrapbooks on a shelf in our living room, filled with countless memories: first steps, birthdays, and preschool graduations. There were pages featuring Christmas mornings, Halloween nights, family vacations, and all the little moments that made up our lives. Yet, I noticed a common thread: I was absent from these memories.
After flipping through several albums, I finally found a photo of me. And what was it? A picture of me in a hospital bed, holding a newborn.
Where Did All the Years Go?
Where did all the years go after that hospital photo? The baby grew, and we have countless images of those precious moments, but what about the woman who became their mother? What happened to her?
Motherhood took over — and with it, I found myself behind the camera instead of in front of it. I became the family’s photographer, capturing our lives day by day, yet I never thought to document my own. Sure, I’ve taken plenty of selfies, and I still do, especially when my kids are willing to join in. It’s all about preserving memories, right? But where are the photos that reflect the woman who is also a mom?
The last photo I could find of myself, carefree and alone, was from my honeymoon at the beach — two decades ago. No children building sandcastles or running from waves, just the woman I was before motherhood.
Capturing the Essence of Motherhood
I have spent my boys’ childhood in the background, navigating kitchens, laundry rooms, bleachers, and carpool lines, striving to create a beautiful childhood for them. But what about capturing the essence of the woman behind it all?
When my sons grow up and look for that picture of their mom — the woman who shaped their lives — what will they find? Likely nothing.
That’s why I’ve decided not to wait any longer. I will ask someone to take a lovely portrait of me — just me. It will be a moment set apart from the chaos of daily life, a chance to show my kids that before I was a mom, I was a woman, and that woman still exists. I’ll pose with confidence, embracing my true self, regardless of any insecurities about age or appearance. To my children, I am not defined by those worries.
I want them to have a favorite picture of their mom. So, let’s make a pact, fellow mothers: don’t postpone it any longer. Have your children take a beautiful photograph of you today. Trust me, in 30 years, they will be grateful to have that image when they search for a memory of you.
Additional Resources
For more insights on family journeys, check out this blog post. If you’re interested in pregnancy resources, visit CDC’s website, an excellent source of information. And for those little moments of joy, consider this baby hairbrush and styling comb set that every parent should have.
Summary
Capture the essence of motherhood by ensuring you have photos of yourself, just being you. As mothers, we often find ourselves behind the camera, documenting our children’s lives, but it’s crucial to take a moment to exist in front of it. Don’t wait — create those memories today.