Parenting
By Jessica M. Thompson
Updated: Oct. 21, 2023
Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2017
She looked utterly drained. Completely spent. Overwhelmed, frazzled, and most importantly, exhausted.
Naturally, she was. With four children, all seemingly under the age of ten—her youngest a newborn wailing in her arms—she was clearly struggling with this grocery store outing.
Bouncing the little one down the frozen food aisle, her movements had a zombie-like sway, and it was evident she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in ages. I felt fortunate to be shopping alone, as my kids were older, and I was finally enjoying the fruits of my labor during those baby years. I approached this weary mother and said, “Your family is lovely! You’re doing an amazing job by bringing them all here, especially with a newborn.”
She paused, her eyes brimming with tears. Looking away to focus on the frozen waffles, I could sense she was gathering her thoughts, trying to replace the flood of emotions with the one phrase that mothers often use: “I’m tired.”
I understood exactly what she meant. It wasn’t just about a lack of sleep from the previous night.
When mothers say “I’m tired” to partners, friends, or even strangers, it conveys so much more.
- “I’m tired” means the relentless responsibility of caring for young children can feel utterly overwhelming.
- “I’m tired” signifies moments of doubt when you question your ability to carry on one more second.
- “I’m tired” reflects the surprise at how challenging motherhood can truly be.
- “I’m tired” implies that not only am I sleep-deprived now, but I also wonder when or if I’ll ever catch up on rest.
- “I’m tired” suggests the frustration of mundane tasks, like cutting the crusts off yet another PB&J sandwich, making one want to scream.
- “I’m tired” reveals a lack of interest in intimacy, not due to a lack of love, but because my exhausted mind can’t shift gears.
- “I’m tired” means I’m too mentally drained to engage in small talk, whether at the store, the playground, or during PTA meetings.
- “I’m tired” conveys a plea not to hear that I’ll miss these days one day; while it may be true, it feels unhelpful to hear right now.
- “I’m tired” expresses the grief for the person I was before motherhood—the body, the mindset, the free time—all of that feels like a distant memory.
- “I’m tired” is a question of whether I’ll ever regain my sense of self or if this fatigue will be my new normal.
- “I’m tired” simply means I. Am. Exhausted. I find it difficult to manage the responsibilities of adulthood, ironically because I am the adult now. The mother. The one who should have it all together but actually feels like she has nothing together.
I gave that tired mom in the grocery store a gentle pat on the shoulder. I didn’t offer clichés about things getting better or how blessed she was, or that she would miss this someday. Instead, I looked her in the eyes, offered a soft smile, nodded, and said, “I understand.”
In that moment, her smile back felt like an acknowledgment that we weren’t alone in this struggle.
Sometimes, all us exhausted moms need is to know that we’re not in this alone. The realization that there’s an entire sisterhood of physically, emotionally, and mentally drained mothers can bring a sense of camaraderie and relief. We all know the truth behind “I’m tired,” and together, we can hope that this won’t be our forever.
For more insights on parenting and the challenges it brings, check out this post about navigating the journey of artificial insemination at Make A Mom. If you want to learn more about coping with loss during this process, Intracervical Insemination offers valuable resources. Additionally, for general information on pregnancy and home insemination, ASRM is an excellent source.
Summary:
This article delves into the profound meaning behind a mother’s simple phrase, “I’m tired.” It highlights the emotional and physical toll of parenting, addressing the struggles mothers face daily. The piece emphasizes the importance of solidarity among mothers, reminding them that they are not alone in their exhaustion and challenges.