I’m the kind of person who celebrates their birthday with a week-long extravaganza. My aunt used to go all out for her special day, and it makes me feel connected to her. So, reaching various milestone birthdays hasn’t really fazed me. I haven’t lost sleep over it (well, aside from the usual chaos), shed tears reminiscing about my “prime years,” or drowned my sorrows in a pint of ice cream, questioning if this is all there is. It’s just been a natural part of life for me.
However, in the last couple of months, our little family has been on a whirlwind. We sold our house, downsized to a camper, switched jobs, moved states, unenrolled our child from public school, and embarked on the homeschooling journey—all right after my husband celebrated his 34th birthday. This rollercoaster has made me acutely aware that I’m creeping toward 36. Yes, I’m the eldest—our household is all about shattering stereotypes and norms.
How did I get here?! I still feel like I’m 17, obsessing over what time to arrive at Friday’s game. How did I become one of those moms at the mall, wearing jeans that seem to morph my behind into a shapeless mass and sporting haircuts that defy gravity? It can’t be real, but every time I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window, it’s undeniably me.
Here’s my compilation of reasons why aging isn’t as glamorous as my younger self envisioned:
- My Skin is a Nightmare
I was fortunate enough to have clear skin as a teen, but apparently, hitting my mid-30s has triggered a rebellion. I’m dealing with more hormonal acne than a ’90s Clearasil commercial, and what’s this? Is that a mole?! Why do I suddenly have freckles on my shoulders? Now, my Friday nights consist of sipping wine while scrolling through Pinterest for natural remedies for skin tags or worrying if that blemish might be something serious. WebMD has me convinced I’m running out of time. Not wearing makeup doesn’t help, especially since I wouldn’t know how to cover this mess even if I wanted to. - Fashion Has Become a Mystery
Seriously, if I could, I’d live in yoga pants and hoodies. It’s laughable to even call them “yoga” pants since I’ve done more grocery shopping and napping in them than actual yoga. I feel too old to shop at trendy stores, yet I’m not ready for elastic-waisted pants and holiday-themed sweaters. The average shopper at Belk seems to be 60, and I’m stuck in limbo. I thought I’d found a solution with LuLaRoe until I realized their leggings turn my thighs into a Magic Eye poster—stretching the patterns into something unrecognizable. - What Does Success Even Mean?
As I near 40, my friends are either advancing in their careers, looking ahead to retirement, or still figuring life out in their parents’ basement. I occasionally envy their carefree lives. This age is when I start questioning if this is what I have to do for the rest of my life or if I should take a leap into something that truly brings joy. It’s no wonder so many people dive into direct sales; they genuinely want to love what they do but also need to pay bills. If only someone would pay me to write or chat! - Whose Kids Are These Anyway?!
At 7, my imaginary kids were perfect twins who said “Yes, ma’am.” What happened? The real kids I have are far from that ideal. They’re like tiny forces of chaos. When my daughter throws her sippy cup for the umpteenth time, I can’t help but wonder how I’m supposed to manage these little beings while figuring out my own life. - What’s Next?
My husband and I waited a bit longer to start our family, so while most of our peers are done having kids, we’re left pondering whether to continue procreating or embrace our current state. Should we plan for retirement? Will Social Security even exist when we get there? I should be wiser than those in their 20s, but all I want is to go to bed early and catch up on my favorite shows. - Are Those Really My Parents?!
In my mid-30s, I find myself echoing my parents’ once-annoying phrases. I catch myself saying, “You should wear a coat outside to avoid getting sick,” and suddenly realize how right they were. As I look forward to calls with them seeking advice, I can’t shake the feeling of being in a surreal episode of The Twilight Zone. - I Just Want to Netflix and Sleep
These mid-30s feel like living inside every relatable meme. My diet consists almost entirely of coffee and wine. While many my age portray perfect lives on social media, I’m over here managing a toddler who might be covered in something resembling chocolate or poop. I don’t need fancy things; I just want uninterrupted time to binge-watch my shows. - Target is My Sanctuary
All I crave is endless time to sip Starbucks and wander through Target. Shopping has transformed from a chore to a retreat. Somehow, I end up spending way more than intended without even remembering the essentials I came for.
So, as I catch my reflection in the store window, I brush away the exhaustion and smile. I may not match the idealized version of myself, but I am resilient. I’ve faced challenges, persevered, and come out stronger. So here’s to the journey to 40—no looking back.
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Summary:
Aging brings unexpected challenges, from skin issues to questions about success and parenting. As Jamie navigates her mid-30s, she reflects on the discrepancies between her youthful ideals and her current reality. With humor and honesty, she explores the complexities of growing older, embracing the journey rather than fretting over the past.