Dear parents, friends, and loved ones of those facing the challenges of raising a child with autism, let’s talk. It can feel like a tightrope walk, and I understand the conflicting emotions you might be experiencing. If you acknowledge that something might be off with our child’s development, we may get defensive. Conversely, if you reassure us that everything is fine, it can come off as dismissive, like you’re not truly understanding our reality.
Please, give us some grace. We’re in a whirlwind of emotions, constantly worrying and waiting for answers. When we finally gather the courage to open up about our child’s potential diagnosis, we hope you choose your words wisely. Some people around me struggled to accept the news, but trust me when I say that I didn’t take this lightly. It took me ages to even begin to process the reality of a diagnosis, let alone share it.
I had a relative, let’s call her Susan, who seemed to be in denial about my son’s autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. She needed “time” to really think about it. Seriously? Meanwhile, I’m left wondering if she’s okay or if there’s something I can do to make her more comfortable. But I can’t join her in a fantasy where everything is blissfully ignorant. My child needs me to face this truth head-on to get him the support he deserves in a world that often overlooks him.
If you think you’re struggling with accepting the diagnosis, try putting yourself in our shoes. As parents, it’s instinctual to wish we could close our eyes and pretend this isn’t happening. But we can’t afford to do that. This isn’t some ploy for sympathy; it’s our reality, and it’s tougher than you might imagine.
If you haven’t witnessed the behaviors that might warrant a diagnosis, that’s precisely the point. We see them every day, and we’re the ones tirelessly navigating those challenges. When you wrestle with accepting our situation, it feels like an added burden on top of what we’re already dealing with. We’re here for our kids, and we hope you’ll stand alongside us.
Please, don’t make this journey harder than it has to be. The last thing we need is to convince you of something we’re also grappling with. We’re doing our utmost to support our children, so it’s disheartening when we feel like we have to fight for your support too. Questioning a diagnosis we believe in can feel like an attack on our sanity and our understanding of what it means to be a parent. That’s simply not fair.
When our child has a good day or a moment of clarity, it doesn’t mean they’ve been cured or that we were wrong about the diagnosis. It’s a cause for celebration, but it doesn’t erase the challenges they still face. Our children are working incredibly hard, often engaging in therapies to help them thrive. Don’t overlook the effort they put into every small victory because it doesn’t fit into your comfortable narrative.
Let’s learn to coexist in our sometimes chaotic, often messy realities. It may not look as neat as yours, but it’s our life, and it’s beautiful in its own way. If you’re not ready to embrace this, it’s okay to step back. However, if you want to support and love us, you must accept our journey as it is. Simple gestures won’t suffice; autism is a substantial reality, and we need genuine support. Trust us as parents, and recognize our children for the wonderfully unique individuals they are.
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Summary
Supporting a child with autism requires understanding and empathy from family and friends. It’s crucial to accept the reality of the diagnosis without dismissing the challenges faced by parents. Rather than questioning their experiences, loved ones should offer genuine support and acknowledge the hard work and progress made by these children.