I’d like to believe the days of duckface selfies are behind us, but I’m not entirely convinced. Sure, we still see those mouth-open, peace-sign poses, but the duckface seems to have faded—at least for now.
Selfies are not my thing. In fact, they make me uneasy. When I witness my teenager snapping 75 selfies during a brief car ride to church, I can hardly keep my composure. She insists on capturing the “perfect” shot. Once, she tried to include me in one of her selfies. In a moment of rebellion, I flipped the camera the bird, hoping to make it an unsendable photo (I know, I know—no judgement necessary). Yet somehow that infamous picture still made its rounds, and now she’s the girl whose mom gave a rude gesture to the camera. Seriously.
Snapchat is a constant presence in our home. With two teenagers, it feels like they’re using it every minute of the day. What is going on with these kids? How did we end up with a generation of teens who constantly share selfies? When I suggested my daughter send something other than a selfie, she looked at me like I had three heads. “Like what? What else would I even send?” I was left speechless.
Recently, one of our teens was home sick for a week and even ended up in the ER. I can only imagine that as soon as her friends realized she wasn’t at school, they flooded her Snapchat with messages. I bet they all received a selfie of her looking unwell, with puffy eyes and a pale complexion. Oh my goodness, make it stop!
But then, something unexpected happened. On the first day she was home, the doorbell rang, and it was one of her friends, holding a milkshake. Knowing my daughter couldn’t eat because of a sore throat, she took the time to bring her a treat. It may seem small, but in the teenage world, that’s a big deal.
The next day, another surprise arrived. Her “oh my gosh, Mom, stop calling him my boyfriend” friend had ordered Panera Bread for her and had it delivered to our home. I was blown away. Who does that? I couldn’t help but call my husband to remind him that he needed to step up his game after witnessing this act of kindness!
Then, the doorbell rang again. This time, it was a pizza delivery from her best friend, who doesn’t even live nearby. He had called in a pizza and had it sent to our house, complete with fries and a drink, all taken care of. I later spoke to his mom, who was completely unaware of her daughter’s thoughtful gesture. There was no need for recognition; it was simply a kind act.
On another day, we found ourselves in the ER, and I noticed my daughter’s phone buzzing non-stop with messages from friends checking in on her. She even shared Snapchat photos of her IV, hospital monitor, and everything else in the room.
As the week came to a close, her “oh my gosh, Mom, stop calling him my boyfriend” friend and another close buddy visited during their lunch hour with burgers from our favorite fast-food place. They sat outside with her, providing lighthearted company after a long week of isolation.
These kids defied my expectations time and time again. It was a humbling experience for me. Perhaps the technology, Snapchatting, and selfie-taking aren’t turning them into self-absorbed bullies after all. Instead, it offers them ways to connect that we didn’t have growing up. Social media can be misused, but I learned that it can also be a platform for genuine kindness.
Back in my day, if a friend missed school because of illness, we might have made a quick call from our landline to check on them, maybe even adding another friend through three-way calling if we were feeling fancy. But we largely left it to their parents to handle. The immediate access these kids have to each other allowed them to demonstrate compassion in ways we had never experienced. It showed my daughter that she was loved and missed. I wish I could thank each of their parents for raising such thoughtful kids.
We often underestimate this generation. They are navigating a world filled with instant access and social media while doing their best to be good people. Watching them grow into compassionate, generous young adults is truly remarkable, even if most of it is shared through Snapchat.
If you’re a parent of little ones and dread the teenage years, let me assure you—the best is yet to come. These kids are incredible, and even amidst their struggles to figure out who they are, they can surprise you with their thoughtfulness.
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In summary, while social media can seem overwhelming, it also provides a unique way for teenagers to connect and support one another, proving that the selfie generation is capable of much more than we might think.