In Colorado Springs, a jogger known as “The Mad Pooper” has been caught in the act—defecating on lawns and outside local businesses during her daily runs. Local authorities are seeking assistance from the public to identify this elusive individual, who seemingly exhibits no shame in her unusual habit.
The peculiar saga began when a local resident, named Linda Hayes, discovered the woman in action. “My kids came running into the house yelling, ‘Mom, you won’t believe what we just saw—a lady pooping!’” Hayes recounted to a news outlet. When she confronted the jogger, the woman simply replied, “Yeah, sorry.” This response is more fitting for a workplace dessert theft than a public defecation incident.
Initially, Hayes assumed the jogger might have been experiencing a rare, unfortunate incident. “I thought she’d be embarrassed, go get a bag, clean it up, and never show her face here again. But that was wishful thinking.” The Hayes family now finds this woman’s droppings—conveniently covered with napkins—on their lawn roughly once a week. (Your Honor, the presence of napkins is a clear indication of premeditated pooping. The State rests its case.)
Despite multiple confrontations from Hayes, The Mad Pooper continues her bizarre routine, seemingly unfazed. The notion of feeling comfortable enough to relieve oneself in broad daylight in front of children is a mystery to many. Reports indicate that she’s not just targeting the Hayes’ yard; other neighbors have witnessed similar incidents in their own front yards and even outside a nearby Walgreens.
Interestingly, there’s a public restroom just across the street and a gas station nearby, yet The Mad Pooper appears to prefer the thrill of squatting in front of bemused onlookers. It raises the question—could her behavior be a territorial display, reminiscent of cats that repeatedly mark the same spot, despite having a litter box available? Perhaps the Hayes should consider fresh sod and a vinegar treatment to deter her.
Despite their frustration, the Hayes family has taken action, sharing photographs with local police in hopes of tracking her down. They even erected a sign pleading for her to stop, only to have her jog past it multiple times without a care. “I put up a sign that says ‘please, I’m begging you, please stop.’ She ran by it like 15 times yesterday and still pooped,” Hayes lamented.
If you happen to recognize this jogger, please contact the Colorado Springs police. And if you are The Mad Pooper, maybe it’s time to invest in a gym membership or a treadmill at home. Your neighbors—and their lawns—will thank you.
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In summary, the bizarre tale of The Mad Pooper highlights an unusual public nuisance that has baffled residents and law enforcement alike. With ongoing community efforts to identify her, one can only hope that this jogger finds a more suitable place to relieve herself.