Hey there, Mom—this one might be best left unread by you.
A few months back, I found myself in a surprising whirlwind of desire, reminiscent of the youthful enthusiasm of a teenage boy. This sudden shift wasn’t due to any identifiable cause—age, hormones, or even some mystical force. One moment, I was content with my usual twice-a-week intimacy; the next, I was eagerly seeking it out twice a day.
My husband, Mark, was thrilled, basking in a joy usually reserved for the enlightened. I would stroll into the bedroom, close the door, and slip into a delicate tank top. With the kids tucked in early, our nights became an exciting playground of rediscovery. I felt adventurous, open to trying things I typically avoided—and genuinely enjoying them. It was exhilarating, like we had stumbled upon a hidden gem of our relationship.
But just as quickly, it vanished. Out of nowhere, my libido plummeted. I went from twice a day to zero, retreating into my comfort zone of cozy granny panties. Mark tried everything—sweet whispers, gentle caresses, even a cheeky dance against me. He craved the return of his lively partner, but I simply wasn’t in the mood. It wasn’t a matter of desire; my brain said yes, but my body disagreed forcefully.
Many women face similar fluctuations in their sex drive. For me, a psychological shock had set in. I received some disheartening news: I’d need to switch from contacts to glasses, perhaps permanently. Childhood taunts about being “ugly” or a “four-eyes” resurfaced, eroding my self-esteem and making me feel unattractive. As someone prone to anxiety and depression, this was a significant blow to my libido, leading to a lengthy dry spell.
Exhaustion also plays a substantial role in this dance. With three kids aged 7, 5, and 3—two of whom likely have ADHD—we’re all too familiar with fatigue. My husband, Mark, juggles a demanding job while I manage our chaotic household. It’s tough to feel frisky when the only thing on your mind is crashing into bed after a long day. The desire is there, but the energy to seduce? Long gone, especially when laundry and dishes loom large.
And then there are the kids—our adorable little “cock-blocks.” Sure, we can lock doors, but nothing kills the mood faster than a tiny voice pleading, “Mama, I have to poooooop!” Suddenly, you’re half-dressed, scrambling to restore some semblance of decency before addressing the urgent needs of your child. After taking care of such messy business, intimacy is often the last thing on your mind.
Yet, out of the blue, desire can resurface. Maybe it’s sparked by a steamy episode of your favorite show or a cheeky article with a playful reference. Perhaps you treat yourself to some new lingerie. Suddenly, it’s back to those thrilling twice-a-day encounters.
Statistics around sexual frequency can be misleading. Couples may have a flurry of activity one month, then hardly touch each other the next. It’s a rollercoaster ride, with peaks and valleys influenced by life’s unpredictable nature. Most experts suggest aiming for intimacy once a week for optimal satisfaction, but the reality is that sometimes you’re in the mood, and sometimes you’re not—your body gives you the final say.
So, my advice? Embrace those passionate phases. Weather the dry spells. Above all, communicate openly, respect each other’s boundaries, and keep love alive. If you’re interested in boosting fertility, check out these fertility supplements. And for those navigating challenges like endometriosis, this guide can provide valuable insights. Lastly, if you’re considering fertility treatments, this resource is a great place to start.
In summary, intimacy can be as unpredictable as life itself. It’s essential to navigate these ebbs and flows with understanding and love.