Let me just start by saying a huge “no thanks” to colic. Seriously, I needed to get that off my chest before diving into the more serious stuff. To all the mothers battling colic alongside me, I see you, I respect you, and I know how tough this chapter of parenting can be—I’m right there in the thick of it with you.
My precious daughter, a true blessing, is now 14 weeks old. She sports an adorable strawberry blonde mohawk, chubby cheeks, and an uncanny ability to wail for hours each night, regardless of the lengths we go to soothe her. We’ve consulted the pediatrician multiple times, experimented with Zantac, gas drops, soy formula, and colic-friendly bottles, and still, those late-night screams persist.
And yes, our home is filled with every gadget imaginable: a Rock ‘n Play, two swings, a vibrating bouncer, a vibrating crib mattress, and a play mat blasting music. I thought my first child had it rough with just a couple of toys, but this little one? We’ve got it all. If anyone ever marketed a “colic eliminator,” I can assure you we ordered it on Amazon Prime during those frantic hours between 5 and 7 p.m.
Watching your baby cry endlessly can be utterly draining, but eventually, you reach a point where you push your pediatrician to admit that it’s colic. You stop attempting to “fix” your baby and instead learn to weather the storm with her. You let go of the need to switch bottle brands or endlessly search online for answers and accept that, despite the noise, she is healthy and growing—just going through a rough patch. She will outgrow it.
Yet here I am, grappling with the guilt that comes from having a colicky baby. I find myself questioning if I’ve told her I love her enough. Conversations in our home have dwindled because no one can hear over the crying, but did I also stop whispering sweet nothings to that little face?
You start to wonder if you’ve done everything possible to comfort her. As her mother, shouldn’t I be able to soothe her? You hope she doesn’t sense your relief when you finally lay her down at night or your disappointment when she wakes too soon from a nap.
There’s a growing resentment towards colic for what it steals from you. You’re missing out on those adorable gummy smiles that other moms talk about, and it feels like a lifetime before you hear her giggle or coo. Plus, you’re unable to devote as much time to your other children since the crying demands your full attention. It’s relentless.
You find yourself wishing for time to pass quickly—longing for bedtime, for your partner to come home, or for when it’s socially acceptable to pour a glass of wine. You end up wishing away moments that, as mothers, we’re told to treasure. We hear it repeatedly: enjoy every second, because one day we’ll long for these times.
Honestly, I’m not tossing coins into that wishing well. And I refuse to carry the weight of a colicky baby along with a hefty dose of mom guilt. Instead, I remind myself that I’m doing my best to navigate this challenging period. I may be ordering pizza more than I should, but I’m keeping us fed and clothed. I still hold and love all of my kids, even if I’m wearing noise-canceling headphones while doing so. While I won’t be wishing for these prolonged days to return, I know that one day I can share with my daughter how much I cherished her, especially when she’s pondering whether to send me to a nursing home.
Until then, you’ll find me with a baby in one arm, a glass of wine in the other, and a pair of heavy-duty earplugs firmly in place.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, navigating the challenges of a colicky baby can lead to feelings of guilt and frustration, but it’s essential to remember that you’re doing your best. Cherishing the moments, despite their difficulty, is key to surviving this exhausting phase of parenthood.