Parenting
What Should Jenna Do? This Is Not Your Average Advice Column
Jenna from Ohio writes in:
How do I differentiate between a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home mom like me? I feel like I’m always explaining to friends and family that I can’t just drop everything to go to the zoo or grab a margarita with them at lunch. And then there’s the classic “What do you do all day?” question. Seriously?! Everything! Including changing diapers while I’m trying to send out invoices.
Dear Jenna,
I totally get where you’re coming from.
I was a stay-at-home mom for several years, and let me tell you, that job is no cakewalk. While we absolutely love our kids, the endless cycle of talking, whining, feeding, and cleaning can feel overwhelming. It’s a rollercoaster of stress and joy that can drain your energy just as much as it fills your heart.
Often, stay-at-home moms have the luxury of playdates or fellow SAHM friends to connect with. They can plan fun outings and enjoy a bit of flexibility in their schedules, right? But make no mistake: being a SAHM is hard work, and not every moment is a picturesque, tantrum-free experience. Finding friends who get it can also be tough, leading to isolation, which is a whole other challenge.
What’s different for you as a work-from-home mom is that you’re navigating two worlds under one roof. You’re trying to manage your kids while simultaneously responding to emails and meeting deadlines. One minute you’re coaxing your child to eat their veggies, and the next you’re dealing with a crayon emergency all while keeping an eye on your computer screen. It’s exhausting!
I understand why you feel frustrated when people don’t recognize the dual roles you juggle. Here’s what Jenna would do:
First, remember that your friends want to include you because they enjoy your company. Try to appreciate that, even if your knee-jerk reaction is to shout, “I’m working, come on!”
You might say something like, “I really appreciate your invitation to the trampoline park or your proposal for margaritas at lunch, but I have responsibilities at home that need my attention. I have bills to pay and kids to feed, so I’ll have to pass. Maybe we can plan something on the weekend when I’m not juggling work and parenting?”
And if they still don’t get it, you could suggest, “Sure! I’d love to come over with my kids. They can play while I find a quiet corner to catch up on emails. I’ll bring my laptop and get some work done while you handle the chaos. Thanks for understanding how challenging it is to balance both roles!”
I’m cheering for you! Let me know how it goes.
—Jenna Lee
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In summary, balancing work and parenting is no easy feat, but with some communication and understanding from friends, you can find a way to manage both worlds successfully.