Throughout my life, I’ve been on an endless quest for my best friend, that one person who completes the puzzle of my existence. Now, as I watch my daughter navigate a new school and explore her burgeoning social scene, I realize she’s on the same journey: searching for the best friend—the one who embodies everything you think of when you think of friendship.
Think Monica and Rachel, or Thelma and Louise. For my daughter, it’s Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. This ideal friend is your rock, the one who lifts you up on tough days, shares a bottle of wine with you, and can even help untangle your kid’s hair. You exchange secrets, clothes, and parenting duties. It’s that one special connection that feels essential to your happiness.
As a child, I had plenty of friends. I attended countless sleepovers and never sat alone during lunch. Yet, I always felt like I missed the memo when it came to finding that one “best” friend. Sure, I had friends, but none of them fit the mold of my ideal companion.
This sense of incompleteness lingered into adulthood. Surrounded by friends, I still felt a void because of my unrealistic expectation of finding a singular perfect best friend. Over the years, I pinned my hopes on a few who I believed could fill that role—only to be let down when reality struck. My husband often jokes about the mountain he had to climb to become my everything.
I had crafted an impossible vision of a best friend who would fulfill every wish in my heart, and the pressure of that expectation was immense.
Fortunately, over time, I discovered a diverse group of friends—each one fantastic in their own right. They are dependable, creative, and simply delightful. Instead of seeking one perfect best friend, I found a whole ensemble of them! A band of besties!
These friendships are unique; sometimes they blend seamlessly, while other times, they don’t even know each other. Life ebbs and flows, and we may drift apart for a season, but we always find our way back. My husband’s perspective helped me shift my expectations—he pointed out that the love and support I sought were already present in my life, just not from a single person.
Now, I try to avoid placing impossible standards on my friends. I’m surrounded by amazing individuals who fill my life with joy. It’s a beautiful realization that I can have multiple best friends, not just one.
New friendships form with ease now; I appreciate the qualities in people that can add to my circle of support. I even found a new best friend online, someone I’ve never met, who brings something unique to my life that others can’t.
Letting go of the need for a single friend to fulfill all my emotional needs has been liberating. Each friend contributes something special that makes me feel whole. Like the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a family—and I’m blessed with a vibrant village of friends.
Sometimes I still wish for that one magical person who embodies every quality I desire in a best friend. Yet, I know that person doesn’t exist. Recognizing this has allowed my friendships to flourish, much like a thriving garden.
As my daughter seeks her own “best” friend, I’ll encourage her to cultivate a diverse “garden” of friendships, full of blooming connections. And hopefully, I’ll be one of those flowers in her garden.
This article was originally published on Aug. 30, 2017.
For more insights into family dynamics, check out this comprehensive guide on home insemination kits. And if you’re planning any family adventures, don’t forget to read about essential tips for camping with kids. For anyone considering insemination, this resource on what to expect with your first IUI is particularly helpful.
In summary, I’ve learned that I don’t need a single best friend to feel fulfilled. Instead, I cherish a network of incredible friends who each bring something unique to my life, allowing me to thrive in the vibrant garden of friendship I’ve cultivated.