There are moments in life when love for someone deepens beyond any prior experience. Lately, I’ve been having those moments with my eldest son, each one an indescribable swell of affection that fills my heart, brings a smile to my face, and reassures me that I am precisely where I belong—as his mother. He is my son, and I am his mama.
Many people express doubts about adoption, often framing their concerns as definitive truths. They share their fears as if they are undeniable facts, when in reality, they stem from uncertainties and personal narratives. I’ve heard statements like:
- “Adoption is off the table because I couldn’t love a child as much as my biological kids.”
- “I need to pass on my genes.”
- “Adoption just doesn’t feel right for me.”
- “What if I can’t love a child who doesn’t resemble me or my spouse?”
- “I’ve been told adopted kids come with a host of problems. You never know what you’re signing up for.”
From my perspective, let me emphasize this: I love my adopted boys just as fiercely as my biological ones! In fact, I sometimes find it easier to love them. Their imperfections don’t reflect my own, and their physical traits and health issues are not ones I critique in myself. In many ways, it allows me to appreciate them as the unique individuals they are, separate from me.
Recently, my heart has been overflowing with love for my eldest. I often reminisce about his arrival into our lives. For a while, he was merely a dream—an idea of love waiting to unfold. Then came the paperwork, phone calls, and background checks until he became a name I proudly displayed on our fridge.
A few thousand miles later, he transformed into a little boy whose laughter melted my heart, confirming that I was meant to be his mother from the moment he was conceived. His call reached me from halfway around the world, patiently waiting for me to answer. Our connection is like the red thread of fate, forever tying us together.
Now a young man, he continues to captivate me. Each time I learn more about his struggles, passions, and triumphs, I fall deeper in love. My heart expands, filling with an overwhelming sense of pride and joy. It’s in these moments that I see him clearly, and I realize that my love for him is pure and unwavering, as profound as any mother’s love for her biological children.
- I see him as he receives a diagnosis for dyslexia and sensory processing disorder, and we celebrate rather than grieve because it validates what he always suspected: he is not less capable; he simply faces different challenges.
- I see him when he sends positive thoughts to his birth mother on his birthday because he feels she thinks about him, and I know she does more often than just that day.
- I see him nurturing his chickens, his gentle spirit shining through.
- I see him stop to help a boy who falls off his bike during a race, putting empathy above winning.
- I see him encouraging us to adopt another child, reminding us that “every kid deserves a home.”
- I see him immersed in nature, identifying birds of prey, sharing his knowledge with excitement.
- I see him measure his hands against mine, beaming with pride when we match.
- I see him grapple with feelings of being different, aware of his skin color amidst his peers.
- I see him find solace through meditation, offering insights that rival any great philosopher.
- I see him holding a burial for a bird that “died alone,” showcasing his compassion.
- I see him cheer for Team Astana during the Tour de France, feeling a connection to his roots.
- I see him helping our neighbor while camping, showing kindness and responsibility.
- I see him laughing at a comic book, the same joyful sound I first heard in that Kazakh orphanage.
- I see him connect with his culture while watching documentaries about hunting with eagles, realizing that these passions might run in his blood.
- I see him when I tuck him in at night, the remnants of his baby cheeks still lingering.
- I see him inspire me to pursue a career in adoption outreach, fueling my passion for helping others find loving homes.
- I see him advocating for every child to have a family, encouraging others to consider adoption as a meaningful way to grow their families and hearts.
I see him, and it’s always about love. He may not share my genetic code or physical appearance, and he arrived with his challenges, but those are precisely what make our relationship extraordinary. Blood type, skin color, or genetic background are irrelevant when it comes to love’s essential nature. When I look at my son, I see love—my love for him, his love for me—a bond that transcends all limitations.
For those exploring family expansion through non-traditional means, resources like Cleveland Clinic’s podcasts on IVF and fertility preservation offer valuable insights. And if you’re considering home insemination, the Make A Mom blog has some fantastic information. For a thorough understanding of fertility solutions, check out Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, love knows no bounds. It embraces not just those connected by blood but also those united by choice, compassion, and an unwavering commitment to one another. Our family is a testament to the power of love that transcends genetics.