Every few months, I come across discussions online where parents are declaring that they’ve had enough of the whole concept of sharing. “It’s just strange,” they argue, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and the necessity of saying “no.” While the internet applauds these “anti-sharing” parents with enthusiastic emoji cheers, I can’t help but wonder: What in the world is happening? Has everyone forgotten that “sharing is caring”? Am I really the only one who values teaching my kids the importance of sharing?
Recently, a mother’s Facebook post gained traction with the headline, “MY CHILD DOESN’T HAVE TO SHARE WITH YOURS.” In her post, she recounted an incident at the park where her son’s toys were desired by other kids, and she told him to simply say “no.” The online response was overwhelmingly supportive, filled with affirmations of her stance.
While I admire any parent who teaches their child to navigate uncomfortable situations and stand up for themselves, it’s entirely possible to instill in our children the significance of sharing while also respecting boundaries. Sure, we don’t have to share everything, but here’s why I believe we should:
People Matter More Than Possessions
At first glance, sharing might seem trivial, but I believe that helping others and demonstrating kindness—especially to strangers—is incredibly crucial. Yes, many claim we don’t share our cars or furniture, but I do! If a neighbor requested to borrow my car, I’d likely oblige. We often share furniture through goodwill, garage sales, and swaps. Just last weekend, I traded a friend’s treadmill for a dresser at my brother-in-law’s place. If I possess something someone else needs, I’m more than willing to lend it out, because assisting others outweighs the value of material items.
In that viral post, the author mentioned that if she brought a sandwich to the park, she wouldn’t feel obligated to share. Fair enough, but what if a homeless person asked for food? I would share because I’m fortunate enough to have more at home. Would you let someone borrow your phone to call for help? I certainly would. And if a colleague needed to borrow a stapler or a laptop? I’d say yes without hesitation.
Naturally, there are limits to what we share. We don’t usually share our spouses (they’re people, not possessions), and I’m not keen on sharing my toothbrush (that’s just gross). Yet, I believe in sharing almost everything else, and I expect my children to embrace this value as well.
Modeling the Way
It would be hypocritical of me not to encourage my kids to share. I stand for principles like universal healthcare, tax relief for working families, and a living wage for all. These ideals necessitate sharing some of my resources for the benefit of others. I’m comfortable with this because I believe in fairness and equity. If I don’t teach my children to share their toys, how can I expect others to share their hard-earned resources?
Boundaries and Respect
It’s easy to say “yes” or “no.” The challenge lies in the gray area. Refusing to share might seem like the simpler route, but learning to take turns and collaborate creates a richer experience. This applies to shared spaces, parking, and living arrangements. We can teach our kids to embrace sharing without compromising personal boundaries and respect. For instance, it’s perfectly fine for children to have one or two special items they don’t need to share. In my household, it was their beloved stuffed animals—they could keep those to themselves as long as they were at home.
Cultivating Non-Attachment
I’m not particularly religious, but I resonate with some Buddhist principles, including the idea of non-attachment. This concept encourages us to appreciate our belongings without clinging to them too tightly. Recognizing that all things—including toys, cars, and life itself—are temporary helps us cope with loss and adapt to change, including the discomfort of sharing.
The Role of Luck
Let’s face it, my children didn’t work hard for the toys they have. Their Legos were a fortunate result of our family’s financial stability and generous grandparents. They didn’t earn these things; they were gifted them through luck. As the saying goes, to whom much is given, much is expected. Hence, I expect my kids to share without hesitation.
The Benefits of Sharing
While I don’t like to judge others, I often wonder what would happen if we took the opportunity to teach our kids how to share or take turns instead of outright declining when a new child wants to play with their toy. Perhaps the other child isn’t the best, in which case my child learns essential life skills in dealing with difficult people. On the flip side, they might form new friendships or discover the joy of kindness, learning patience in the process—something we could all benefit from.
Though some view sharing as old-fashioned or naïve, I firmly uphold its significance—unless it involves my chocolate stash, then all bets are off. Just kidding (kind of).
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In summary, teaching children to share fosters empathy, kindness, and social skills. By modeling sharing and establishing boundaries, we prepare them for a more compassionate world.