Lately, discussions around marriage seem to split into two camps: either we’re lamenting how our spouse can’t locate the milk even when it’s right in front of them (cue the exasperated sighs), or we’re raving about how we have the best partner ever and feel hashtag blessed (and let’s be honest, that might induce an eye roll).
To be transparent, my partner, Jason, is pretty fantastic. We’ve been married for 13 years and have shared life for over 17. Sure, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs, and yes, he can drive me utterly nuts sometimes, but he’s my absolute favorite person. He’s more than just my best friend; he’s my teammate, my confidant, and the love of my life—all wrapped up in one delightfully imperfect package.
But here’s the thing: even though Jason is my number one, he can’t be everything to me. No single person can fulfill every need in our lives. That’s where my best friends come in.
While Jason knows my deepest secrets, he might zone out when I start discussing cramps or the nuances of different birth control methods. He’s not exactly the go-to for a debate on whether capris are a fashion disaster or the latest celebrity couple’s potential split.
Our spouses are phenomenal and embody all the traits we desire in a life partner, but they simply cannot replace our girlfriends. Jason might be my closest ally, but he isn’t my BFF.
Sharing my frustrations about socks left on the floor or the fact that no one in my family can seem to figure out the dishwasher is therapeutic when I vent to my friends, but discussing my husband’s quirks with him tends to backfire. Sure, romantic evenings are essential for a healthy marriage, but they can’t compare to a girls’ weekend filled with laughter (and maybe a little too much wine). Those laid-back afternoons spent getting manicures or brunching while gossiping about life are irreplaceable.
My girlfriends and I can reminisce about horrendous black bean brownies I baked in college or poke fun at our questionable choices in boyfriends during our teenage years (thankfully, we’ve all landed great husbands). We need time with our girlfriends—the ones who knew us before we got tangled up in adulting and motherhood—because they help us reconnect with our true selves. They remember the girl with glasses, the awkward teen, and the adventurous young adult who was always game for new experiences.
With our busy lives pulling us in multiple directions, it’s easy to prioritize time with our spouses, but we mustn’t overlook our friendships. We need those connections just as much as they need us.
Conversations with our girlfriends can range from hilarious emoji exchanges to deep discussions about the complexities of being women in today’s world. They understand the struggles of mother-daughter relationships, the discomfort of being catcalled, and the frustration of being overlooked for a promotion by someone less qualified. They get it in a way that only fellow women can.
Our partners are incredible, and our connection with them is profound. But it’s crucial to acknowledge that this bond is not the sole relationship we should invest in; no single person can meet all our emotional needs, and expecting that can create unnecessary strain.
So, why not send your bestie a quick text to let her know you’re thinking of her? Even if it’s just a silly emoji or a funny gif, it can go a long way. Plan a girls’ night out, even if it’s a month away due to your hectic schedules. Or share an insightful article on the importance of female friendships. Whatever you do, make sure she knows you value her presence in your life.
For more insights on creating meaningful connections, check out this post on home insemination kits. If you’re curious about when it’s safe to take your newborn outside, this resource has you covered. And for those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, the Center at UCSF is an excellent resource.
In summary, while our partners are wonderful and form the backbone of our lives, we should never underestimate the importance of our friendships. Balancing these relationships enriches our lives and nurtures our identities as individuals.