I never met Rebecca Marlowe. In fact, it wasn’t until I delved into the CDC’s recent findings that highlight how domestic violence is often the root cause of homicides among American women that I learned about her tragic story. As I absorbed the details of her 15-year struggle with a partner who abused, threatened, and ultimately took her life, I found myself in disbelief at the grim realities she faced.
Rebecca did everything she was supposed to do—she reported her abuser, sought refuge in a women’s shelter with her children, and sought legal protection through restraining orders. Despite her courage and determination, on July 14, 2010, Rebecca was murdered in a shocking act of violence: her partner shot her at close range while their children were in the house, powerless to intervene as law enforcement remained outside.
The heartbreaking truth is that Rebecca’s children are now without a mother because of a man who let rage and jealousy dictate his actions after years of torment.
Regrettably, Rebecca’s story is just one of countless similar narratives across our nation. Every year, thousands of women lose their lives at the hands of intimate partners. American women shouldn’t have to worry about strangers lurking in parking lots or dark alleys.
Why the Greater Threat Lies Within
A staggering 93% of female murder victims were killed by someone they knew. While the CDC’s report is not surprising—these statistics have been acknowledged by researchers for years—the persistence of intimate partner violence as the leading cause of violent death among women is a serious concern for us all.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women (and 1 in 4 men) has experienced some form of physical abuse from an intimate partner during their lifetime. Even more alarming is that 1 in 4 women has faced severe physical violence from a partner. This means that while you are at a community event or standing in line for coffee, there is likely a woman nearby who has lived through extreme domestic violence.
Taking Action
We should be outraged. But what actions can we take to protect women and children in their homes? One starting point is implementing sensible gun laws. The CDC found firearms were involved in 54% of female homicides, making it logical to push for expanded background checks and closure of legal loopholes. Women are losing their lives to gun violence inflicted by their partners, and if we don’t take action, we are complicit in this tragedy.
Furthermore, women’s shelters require adequate funding to support not just women but entire families, including teenage sons. Many shelters have age restrictions that force women to choose between their safety and leaving their sons behind with known abusers. This is an impossible choice for any mother. When a woman bravely decides to escape an abusive situation, her children should be able to accompany her, regardless of their age or gender.
It’s also crucial that we foster a culture of empathy and support rather than judgment and shame. Victims should never be silenced or made to feel ashamed; such feelings can be life-threatening. If we can do anything, it should be to extend kindness and empowerment to those affected.
Law enforcement, shelters, and support programs need access to tools like the Danger Assessment Tool developed by domestic violence expert Jacquelyn Campbell. This tool helps determine which women are in the highest risk of being murdered by their partners. The assessment could have indicated that Rebecca was at severe risk, scoring an 18 out of 20—a clear signal of her imminent danger.
Our Responsibility
We have a responsibility to improve the situation for all the Rebeccas out there.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, remember, you are not alone. Reach out for help.
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Conclusion
In summary, domestic violence remains the primary threat to women in America, with intimate partners being the leading perpetrators. It is crucial for communities to come together to provide support, implement sensible gun laws, and ensure that shelters have the resources they need to help families escape abusive situations.