Partners should share responsibilities, plain and simple. We’ve all encountered those stories—either personally or through friends—of a partner who thinks watching the kids is mere “babysitting” or who shirks household chores because they believe it’s “women’s work.” While men are undoubtedly capable and intelligent, some (and yes, some women too) seem reluctant to shoulder their fair share of the domestic or emotional burden.
Recently, a man named Tom Wells took to social media to address this very issue. He recounted a moment with a friend who expressed pride in “helping” his wife by doing chores. This friend lamented, “I mopped the floor last week and got no thanks!” Tom quickly corrected him, saying, “My wife doesn’t need help; she needs a partner.”
He emphasized that when he contributes to household chores, he isn’t “helping” his wife—he’s fulfilling his part of the agreement. “I don’t help my wife clean the house because I live here too,” he explained. “I don’t pitch in to cook because I also want to eat. I don’t help with the dishes because I use them as well. I don’t assist my wife with our kids because they’re my kids too, and being a father is my responsibility.”
Thank you, Tom, for your insightful perspective! I’m fortunate to have chosen a partner who willingly tackles what needs to be done. Sometimes, one of us carries a heavier load than the other, but it’s not a competition. We are a family, sharing responsibilities that come with it. Despite the fact that I also juggle a full-time job, I’ve been told how “lucky” I am for my partner’s contributions. Why is it that such expectations are often heaped on women?
The notion that one should be praised for simply fulfilling adult responsibilities is baffling. Adulting means managing all that comes with it, and while it would be great to have a fanfare every time we vacuum, it’s not exactly realistic.
Tom also pointed out that if one has been conditioned to expect praise for basic contributions, it might be time to reconsider. “Act like a true partner, not just a guest who comes to eat, sleep, and fulfill personal needs,” he advised. “Make yourself at home.”
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In summary, it’s essential for partners to recognize that sharing household duties isn’t about helping but about partnership. Everyone should contribute, and adult responsibilities should be embraced without the expectation of accolades.