Recently, Patton Oswalt, who tragically lost his wife, Jenna, in April 2016, announced his engagement to actress Laura Simmons. While many on the internet celebrated this joyful news, a segment of the online community unleashed their negativity, criticizing Oswalt for moving on “too quickly” after his wife’s passing. In response to these uninvited critiques, Oswalt and Simmons, buoyed by a heartfelt blog post from a widow, have decided to address the situation.
On April 21, 2016, Oswalt found his wife, Jenna, lifeless in their home due to a combination of medications and an undiagnosed heart condition. The sudden loss left him shattered. As he expressed in a poignant GQ essay later that year, “I had envisioned a lifetime with the most brilliant mind I’d ever known. And now? All of that was gone.”
Fast forward a little over a year since Jenna’s passing, and Oswalt and his eight-year-old daughter, Mia, have rediscovered joy with Simmons. Their engagement has sparked unwarranted backlash from some on social media, who seem eager to sit in judgment of a man who is simply trying to rebuild his life.
Among the unkind comments on a tweet announcing their engagement were remarks like, “Wow, that didn’t take long,” and “Seems too early for engagement.” As if a timeline should dictate the personal decisions of a grieving widower.
In a powerful response, widow Sarah Thompson, who also lost her husband shortly after Oswalt’s loss, wrote a blog post that resonated with many, including Oswalt himself. He shared her thoughts on social media, thanking her for voicing the anger he felt toward the “anonymous trolls” who felt entitled to criticize his happiness.
Thompson addressed the “judgmental individuals” who took to social media to condemn Oswalt’s decision. “You don’t get to weigh in on the choices of a widower while you enjoy life with your own partner. You didn’t witness your normal morning transform into unimaginable grief,” she stated.
Her words ring true. It’s easy to judge from a distance, but we often lack the understanding of someone’s personal journey through grief. Society tends to romanticize mourning, expecting widows and widowers to remain in a state of perpetual sorrow, which simply isn’t realistic. As Thompson writes, “How long should a widow remain in isolation before others feel comfortable with their freedom to love again? Oswalt’s heart has grown. It doesn’t mean he has forgotten Jenna; it means he is expanding his capacity to love.”
Unfortunately, our culture often idolizes those who suffer quietly rather than celebrating those who dare to find joy again. We tend to gravitate towards stories of tragedy rather than triumph because they reflect our own discomfort. When someone emerges from their pain, we’re quick to search for a flaw in their happiness as if it somehow diminishes our own struggles.
Simmons also spoke about their journey together, emphasizing their commitment to Mia’s happiness. “Most importantly,” she noted, “Mia feels loved and secure. Creating our family while honoring the incredible gift Jenna has given us is my primary goal.” It’s evident that Jenna’s memory continues to be cherished by both Oswalt and Simmons.
So let’s put aside our judgment and applaud this couple’s happiness. As Thompson beautifully articulates, “Widows and widowers understand that love comes with pain. If you witness someone overcoming that realization to love again, instead of condemning them, celebrate their bravery. They deserve a parade.”
In conclusion, Oswalt’s engagement is a testament to resilience and the enduring capacity of the human heart to heal and love again.
For more insights on the complexities of grief and relationships, you may find helpful information at The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and consider reading about personal experiences at NPR’s exploration of miscarriages with Dr. Emily Johnson. Additionally, if you’re looking into home insemination options, our post on baby maker home intracervical insemination syringe kits could be an excellent resource.