As I approach my milestone birthday—hello, fabulous 40!—I find myself reflecting on the journey that has brought me here. When I was younger, I thought by now I’d have everything figured out. Spoiler alert: I don’t. I’m still navigating life like a teenager, albeit with a few more wrinkles and age spots, not to mention the hormonal acne that just won’t quit.
But over the past few decades, I’ve learned a few things, particularly about the fine art of not giving a damn. Well, at least not about all the trivial stuff, like what diets are trending or whether my kids devour their veggies at dinner. Life’s too short not to be my authentic self, and I’ve become quite adept at detecting inauthenticity. This brings me to a crucial lesson I’m still mastering: not everyone has to like you.
I wish I could say that I’ve fully embraced this concept and could share wisdom like a wise aunt with a stash of unsolicited advice, but I’m still working on it. Writing this feels like a mental note plastered across my brain, reminding me:
NOTE TO SELF: Not everyone is going to like you.
ANOTHER NOTE TO SELF: Not everyone needs to like you.
Some folks might turn away because they find you too outspoken or too genuine. Others may label you as overly opinionated for discussing topics like politics or religion—the very subjects deemed taboo in “polite” society. That’s perfectly fine. You don’t need everyone to agree with your views; what matters is that you advocate for justice, love, and compassion. Sometimes, shaking things up is essential for change.
Keep speaking. Keep standing up for what you believe in.
Then there are those who might not vibe with you simply because you laugh too loudly, swear too much, or talk endlessly. Those aren’t your people.
Some may dislike you based on your race, religion, gender, or political beliefs. Maybe you’re too liberal for some, while others think you’re not liberal enough. Some might judge you for being too religious or not religious at all. Others may dismiss you because they perceive you as unremarkable or unsuccessful. To heck with them.
And let’s not forget the times we might unintentionally hurt someone. If that’s the case, own it and make amends.
Then there are the people who won’t like you for no apparent reason. Just because. And guess what? That’s okay too. The world doesn’t operate on universal approval—unless you’re Nutella, and let’s be honest, we can’t all be that beloved.
Learning this lesson is like climbing a mountain for someone like me, who has always wanted to be a people-pleaser. Rejection hurts, whether it’s being snubbed on social media or left out of a gathering. But when I consider what I want for my children, it’s not fame or success I desire for them; I want them to be content, happy, and truly comfortable in their own skin. I want them to love themselves. If I want that for them, shouldn’t I want it for myself too?
So, in this journey of self-acceptance, I acknowledge that while it might sting to realize that not everyone will like me, it’s an essential part of life. Now, if only I could find that jar of Nutella!
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In summary, embracing the fact that not everyone will like you can be liberating. Life is too short to seek validation from everyone. Focus on being your best self, and the right people will appreciate you for who you are.