June 10, 2017
When I turned 17, I stepped out of the DMV, squinting against the November sun while searching for my mom. She was waiting in our old car after I completed the written portion of my much-anticipated driving test. After proving I could parallel park during the road test, only the written test stood between me and the freedom of driving around my small town on Friday nights. I studied intensely, more than I ever did for school, driven by my longing to hit the road. My hard work paid off, and on that significant birthday, I passed with flying colors.
As I excitedly climbed into our aging station wagon, I couldn’t wait to share my good news with my mom. She handed me a small, wrapped box, and I carefully unwrapped it to find a set of car keys nestled in a soft cushion. I was ecstatic, thinking a shiny new car was waiting at home. My excitement quickly turned to bewilderment when my mom said, “Honey, those are the keys to my station wagon. You can borrow it anytime!” Talk about a letdown.
Thus began my teenage driving experience, shuttling my brother and me to school in our family’s well-worn station wagon. On the rare occasions I borrowed the car for a Saturday night outing, I parked it beside my friends’ gleaming new sports cars at the movie theater. Nothing screams “cool” quite like arriving at a school dance in the family wagon.
High school was a cringe-worthy time for me in many ways. Although my parents eventually assisted me in purchasing a car for college, their help was limited. They gifted me a payment book tucked inside my graduation card, along with a note of congratulations and a few hundred dollars to kickstart my journey.
At the time, I thought my parents were a bit stingy with birthday gifts. However, when I found myself struggling to pay rent, managing a car payment and hefty insurance fees became a daunting reality. The burden pushed me to rethink my spending habits, leaving me anxious as I watched my bank balance teeter on the edge of zero whenever a check was cashed.
But the day I called the bank for the final payment amount on my car felt like a rite of passage into adulthood. Though budgeting was still a challenge in my 20s, my parents instilled a lesson: major purchases aren’t simply handed to you at 16. You need to earn them and truly appreciate their value.
Now, as my son approaches his Sweet 16, he’s about to learn that same valuable lesson. We’ve had honest discussions about the fact that he won’t be receiving a new car to joyride out of our driveway. We’ve made it clear that we won’t be covering his driving expenses, but he’s welcome to use our family vehicles if he wants to take a friend out.
Although we aren’t buying him a car, we’ve helped him devise a plan to save for his own. We’ve discussed the importance of saving money weekly and explored age-appropriate odd jobs he can take on. When he’s old enough, we’ll encourage him to get a part-time job. We’ve emphasized that while having a car is exciting as a teen, it’s not essential, especially since his schoolwork must always come first. No point in having a car if you’re not driving to college, right?
Our decision not to buy him a car isn’t solely based on my teenage experience. While I appreciate the lessons my parents taught me about financial responsibility, my motivation also stems from challenging the instant gratification culture prevalent today.
Kids today, often referred to as Generation One-Click, have almost everything available at their fingertips. They don’t know the anticipation of waiting for a phone call from a crush or the thrill of catching their favorite song on the radio. Gone are the days of eagerly awaiting the return of a beloved show in the fall or the painstakingly slow learning of cursive writing. Today’s kids are accustomed to immediate access, and the fast-paced nature of our world has diminished their sense of waiting and earning.
On the day my son passes his driver’s test, he’ll receive the keys to our family cars. The only new vehicle waiting for him will be one he purchases himself. If it takes him until he’s 26 to buy a new ride, that’s perfectly fine with me. I’ll simply be relieved that I won’t have to throw on my pajamas and head out to pick him up on a Saturday night.
Summary
Teaching our children about financial responsibility is crucial in a world of instant gratification. As my son approaches his 16th birthday, we’ve made it clear that he won’t receive a car from us. Instead, we’re guiding him to save and earn his vehicle, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing education over immediate desires. This lesson will prepare him for adult life, ensuring he understands the value of hard work.