After an exhausting day, week, or month, there’s nothing quite like slipping on my jacket and stepping outside without my child.
Finding time for myself as a solo parent is a rare luxury that I’ve come to cherish. Being the main caregiver around the clock can be overwhelming, so when the chance arises to let loose for a few hours with friends, I jump at it!
The guilt of leaving my son can be a heavy burden, but I know it’s essential for my mental health. While it’s uncommon for me to get out, those moments away are invaluable. A simple dinner with a close friend becomes an oasis of adult conversation, where I can unwind and enjoy a drink—something I avoid when I’m with my son. I can vent about my ex without worrying about little ears, or share the latest thoughts on work and life. It’s such a refreshing break.
Single moms often feel pressured to center their lives entirely around their children, making it easy to forget the woman beneath the “mom” title. With only 24 hours in a day, we often feel guilty about spending any of that time on ourselves. But when a friend invites me out, I know that saying yes is crucial. The relief of stepping away from chores and responsibilities—even just for a few hours—is worth the effort of arranging childcare.
I’ve realized that every moment spent out revitalizes me. I’m reminded that I’m more than just “Mommy”; I’m still Jamie, and I deserve to enjoy life outside of parenting. Those evenings out allow me to talk about my interests, such as my obsession with Harry Styles or the latest book I’m reading, rather than focusing on cartoons or bedtime routines.
Initially, it was challenging to leave my son, who is now 3 1/2. When he was younger, he relied on me heavily, so I prioritized being there for him. But as he’s grown more independent, I’ve learned to embrace this time apart. While he enjoys being spoiled by grandma or bonding with a sitter, I get to enjoy an extra dessert or drink with friends.
Working from home means I’m with my son all day, making it tough to detach. However, I’ve come to understand that I need these moments for both of us. Since I’ve started allocating time for myself, I’ve discovered a renewed sense of identity beyond just being a single mom. Self-care is vital, and it’s important for us to seek out those experiences, despite the hurdles we face.
While my life as a solo parent comes with its challenges—like managing bedtime solo and tight finances—I’ve learned to embrace opportunities for self-care. I now make it a point to reach out to friends for a drink or dinner. Not only does it help me regain some sanity, but it also enables me to be a better mom. My son deserves the best version of me, and I intend to keep prioritizing those kid-free nights.
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In summary, making time for myself as a single parent has been transformative. It brings me joy, provides much-needed breaks, and ultimately enhances my ability to parent effectively. Prioritizing self-care is essential, and I’ll continue to seek out those special moments for myself.