Amidst the chaos of juice boxes, skinned knees, laughter, and the chatter of parents, I find myself back at the playground once more. This place has become a regular destination for us—a diverse mix of parenting styles and personalities all converging in one spot. There are the bubbly toddlers, charming yet mischievous, and the elementary-age kids, delightfully witty and clever. And then there’s my little one: the “shy” child.
From the time my daughter was two until she turned four, her shyness was profound. I’m talking about the kind of shyness that led her to hide in corners and cover her face when approached by friends or even family members. It was concerning. Birthday parties were particularly daunting; any time someone sang “Happy Birthday,” she would react as if it were a horror movie, which often turned the celebration into a stressful ordeal for everyone involved. For a while, I even opted to skip birthday parties altogether.
The unsolicited opinions from others about her behavior were tough to bear. Comments suggesting she might be autistic or have Asperger’s due to her occasional avoidance of eye contact made things worse. However, our pediatrician assured us that there was nothing to worry about—she was simply shy. So, we continued our regular visits to the playground in hopes that it would help her social skills. We made it a routine, going two or three times a week. Since she wasn’t in daycare or school, the playground became her primary venue for learning to interact with peers, share toys, and engage in conversations.
Gradually, my daughter began to form friendships. She started attending playdates and slowly began to emerge from her shell. When she turned four and started preschool, I was anxious. Initially, she exhibited her familiar shyness, but after just a week, something clicked. She transformed into a happier, more outgoing version of herself, making friends and thriving in her new environment.
Now, when we visit the playground, she approaches other children with confidence, a complete turnaround from her earlier demeanor.
What I’ve learned through this journey is that many parents face similar challenges with their “too shy” children. They often experience fear and worry, compounded by judgment from friends and family who question their child’s behavior. Comments like, “Is that normal? Shouldn’t you have that checked out?” can be incredibly hurtful. To those making such remarks, perhaps it’s better to keep those thoughts to yourself. You never truly know the struggles a parent is facing. Most parents are already aware if their child is not developing as expected and are actively seeking solutions, often losing sleep over it.
In our case, my daughter needed time and a supportive environment, like the playground, to grow. Some children may need additional assistance, and that’s perfectly okay; it’s simply not my place to judge.
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In summary, shyness in children is a common challenge that many parents face. It’s important to remember that each child develops at their own pace, and with time and support, they can flourish. Let’s be empathetic and supportive rather than judgmental.