Today, I encountered two distinct kinds of people. For a fleeting moment, I lost myself in the joy of the day. How could I forget? Well, perhaps “forgot” isn’t quite accurate. I briefly set aside the myriad emotions that swirl around my thoughts concerning my son’s condition—something that comes with having a child with special needs. As we strolled through our favorite local woods, the sun shining brightly above, I held my oldest son, Lucas’s hand while his younger siblings dashed ahead, their father playfully chasing them while pushing an empty wheelchair. In that moment filled with laughter and the gentle rustling of leaves, I let go, if only for a heartbeat. I captured a photo, embracing Lucas as he whistled and giggled.
At first, I didn’t notice the family of four up ahead. They had stopped walking and were staring in our direction. Initially, I thought they were entertained by my husband’s antics, but soon I realized their gaze was fixed on Lucas and me. My husband, oblivious to our audience, called out, “Does he need the chair, or can I take a run after these two?” gesturing toward a steep track that led to a clearing.
I responded, “No, you can go, but wait for us!” We often arrive at the woods early to avoid the stares and comments that sometimes accompany our outings. It can be overwhelming to face the reality of what could have been or to witness the discomfort in others’ eyes. Plus, we want to ensure Lucas enjoys himself, as he has significant sensory sensitivities.
Not long ago, a friend asked if people genuinely stop and stare at us. I had to admit that it happens more frequently than many realize.
As I continued along the path, the exhilaration of the moment faded when I felt Lucas’s fists hit my stomach. His roars erupted, and soon the biting began. Just then, my husband returned with the wheelchair, apologizing for the delay. We had to strap Lucas into his chair amidst his meltdown, while our other boys stood back, accustomed to this reality. They know that in these tough moments, keeping Lucas safe takes precedence.
Once he calmed down, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. Sure enough, I spotted two adults with two lovely little girls observing us from a higher point on the path, their eyes fixed upon us. It’s always jarring to feel judged. They might have been surprised or curious about the noise, but the judgement is what lingers in the air.
As we loaded the boys into the car and headed to the beach, I resolved that no one would spoil our day. We simply wanted to enjoy our holiday weekend, just like any other family. Living on the beautiful west coast of Ireland, with its stunning beaches and scenery, is something I strive to remember.
As we strolled the beach, my middle child, Ben, who has a budding passion for photography, captured moments of Lucas smiling and engaging with us. It’s becoming increasingly rare to see Lucas’s vibrant personality, a part of him that Hunter syndrome has stolen away, along with his ability to communicate.
We found a bench to sit on, with Ben directing us for a family picture. Just as we posed, Lucas unexpectedly slapped his dad’s face and attempted to bite him as a passerby walked by. I braced myself for judgment, ready to defend my son’s behavior. To my surprise, the man smiled and asked, “Would you like me to take a family photo?”
I was taken aback. Couldn’t he see Lucas’s turmoil? But as Ben showed him how to operate the camera, I watched in disbelief. “Okay, I got it!” The man laughed and began taking our picture while Lucas was still in the midst of his meltdown.
I couldn’t help but laugh, wondering how we must have appeared—smiling faces alongside a child in distress. After he handed back the camera, I felt compelled to explain, but then he said, “Family pictures can be tough, even without a meltdown.” And he was right; we cherish the few we have together.
As he walked away, whistling, Ben exclaimed, “What a nice man!” My husband and I wholeheartedly agreed.
There are two kinds of people in the world. Strive to be like the kind stranger, not the judgmental observers.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, consider reading about fertility boosters for men or check out this informative resource on pregnancy. For more insights, visit Honest Overnights.
In conclusion, let kindness guide our reactions and understanding, especially when faced with challenges others may not fully comprehend.