Yesterday, my daughter, Chloe, experienced a meltdown in public. While this is a familiar scenario for us, it’s become increasingly complicated as she grows older. With heightened emotions and limited communication, these moments can arise unexpectedly. Typically, if we can swiftly get her away from the triggering environment, she can calm down. However, yesterday presented a challenge: we had to navigate her out of a crowded building with excellent acoustics, which involved descending two flights of stairs since the escalator was out of order and crossing a sky bridge.
Once on the sky bridge, I hoped the fresh air would soothe her. Chloe usually enjoys the view from there, but instead, she just stopped and cried harder. My partner, Ben, wrapped his arm around her waist, encouraging her to keep moving despite her wailing.
As we made our way across, two security guards approached. “We heard a woman screaming on the sky bridge,” one of them said. We quickly reassured them, explaining, “Our daughter has special needs; she’s having a meltdown. We’re just trying to get her to the car, I promise she’s not being kidnapped.” They apologized and offered to help as we made our way to the car. Within moments, we were driving away, and Chloe had calmed down considerably. Just a couple of minutes later, she was back to her usual self.
What struck me during this incident was their initial perception— they thought my daughter was an adult. At 5 feet 4 inches tall, she does appear older, yet it’s a stark reminder that as she matures, she is seen differently by society. While many are more accepting of children with disabilities, the same kindness isn’t always extended to adults.
Chloe doesn’t fit the stereotypical image of someone with a disability. Recently, when she returned from getting a drink at a restaurant, I noticed she seemed a bit awkward, but not visibly disabled. When I shared this experience on social media, friends offered suggestions like getting her an ID or bracelet. While that could help, it wouldn’t necessarily signal to the public that she has cognitive disabilities.
I could shout, “Don’t worry! She has cognitive disabilities and sometimes struggles with transitions!” but in the heat of the moment, that’s not feasible. Perhaps a Bat-Signal or flare gun to alert passersby would be helpful, but the reality is there isn’t a perfect solution. The best approach seems to be raising awareness so that more people understand the challenges my daughter faces when she has a hard time in public.
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Summary
As children with special needs transition into adulthood, public meltdowns can become more complex due to societal perceptions. It’s crucial to navigate these challenges with understanding and awareness, emphasizing communication and support. Raising awareness can help others understand what’s happening during these difficult moments.