I wouldn’t say I’m a total disaster, but I’m certainly not obsessively tidy either. I’d classify myself as “easygoing” regarding my living space. I enjoy having a clean and organized home, but with my work-from-home lifestyle alongside my husband and our three homeschooled kids, that ideal is often out of reach—and I’ve come to accept that.
When someone unfamiliar is set to visit, however, I transform into a whirlwind of cleaning energy. I can turn our lived-in space into something that resembles a polished magazine spread in no time. Sure, it often involves hurriedly stashing stacks of papers and laundry in bedrooms and a bit of frantic urging to my family, but it can be done.
If it’s your first visit to our home (assuming you don’t drop by unexpectedly), you’ll be welcomed into an area that could rival an HGTV showcase, complete with fresh coffee and a carefully arranged centerpiece. I can make everything look picture-perfect when I put in the effort.
Yet, I prefer not to maintain that facade all the time. While keeping the house immaculate every single day would be wonderful, it’s simply not feasible with our busy lifestyle—especially since it would create unnecessary stress for everyone involved.
When our close friends come over, we tidy up a little but don’t stress about achieving perfection. You might encounter a laundry basket overflowing in the dining room, a half-finished game of Monopoly on the coffee table, some ongoing art projects, and a few stacks of papers waiting to be sorted.
The floor beneath the dining table may need sweeping, and there might be a few dishes in the sink that didn’t make it into the dishwasher. And, of course, there will be shoes lying around that belong somewhere else.
If you happen to see this kind of scene at my place, please consider it a compliment. Really.
If I didn’t know you well, like you a lot, and trust you completely, I wouldn’t let you see that side of our life. I would put on a neat-and-tidy show out of courtesy, keeping you away from our everyday mess.
But with true friends, it’s different. If I don’t go above and beyond to clean up for your visit, it means I trust you to look past the chaos. It signifies that we share a bond where we don’t need to impress each other constantly. We can just be ourselves, feeling relaxed and genuine, like family.
Believe it or not, my laundry baskets symbolize my affection for you. My clutter is a sign that I care, and those stacks of papers indicate that you’re part of my inner circle.
So, if you step into my home and notice things are a bit disheveled, know that this is just our normal state—not akin to an episode of Hoarders, but definitely not polished enough for HGTV. We cherish you so much that we want you to be a part of our everyday life.
So please, take our mess as a compliment. Inviting you in means you’re always welcome in our home and, by extension, in our lives.
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In summary, the state of my home reflects a deep level of trust and comfort with those I invite in. It’s a reminder that true friendships allow us to share our authentic selves, mess and all.