It’s taken me a lot of self-reflection to reach this point. Everyone told me that parenting came without a manual, and they were absolutely right. After three years of navigating this journey, I’ve come to realize that kids don’t need much guidance. They require food, affection, and a good nap.
However, dealing with adults can be a different story. They can really test your patience. Maybe they should come with some sort of instructions too. Unfortunately, they don’t, which is why I ended up seeking therapy. (Honestly, the best decision I’ve ever made.)
I’ve spent countless hours in therapy, trying to understand the people who have caused me pain or frustration. I’ve learned to process my emotions, to truly embrace those feelings, and then to move forward. Essentially, I’m learning to let go. And you know what? I’ve become quite skilled at it. I can twist and turn my thoughts to empathize with others to the point of forgiveness. But there’s one group I simply cannot comprehend or forgive: those who have chosen to ignore my children.
Sadly, my therapist tells me that this is not uncommon. I often wonder how these individuals can live with themselves. While I shouldn’t waste my energy on it, there are things that need to be said, and today, I feel compelled to express them.
To Those Who Drifted Away
So, to the people who drifted away once I had kids, I have just one question: What on earth is wrong with you? Do you really think you can claim to care for someone for years, even throughout their entire life, and just vanish when they become a parent? Do you expect me to believe that you ever truly cared for me when my heart now belongs to my children, and you choose to disregard their existence?
If you didn’t want to be part of my life anymore, I could understand that. I’m not perfect; I have my flaws, and there are plenty of reasons someone might want to ghost me. My humor can be a bit much, I’m always running late—the list goes on. Yet, you stayed through all of that. You were there as a friend and family member during both the good times and the bad. Then, as soon as my first child arrived, you disappeared. Why?
To be honest, it stung initially. I wanted to share my happiness with you and introduce you to my little one, a tiny human I was certain you would adore. Look at what I created! But my calls went unanswered, and visits never materialized. I’m not asking for you to drop everything and create a scrapbook of my kids, but a little interest would’ve been nice—some acknowledgment that they are part of my life. After all, they are my children, and you claimed to “love me.”
I’m not hurt anymore. I’ve moved past feeling sorry for myself because the reality is this: if you’re too self-absorbed to recognize the joy these children bring, that’s your loss. And it’s a significant loss at that.
What You’ve Missed
Since you’ve opted out, let me share a bit about what you’ve missed: My son’s laughter is pure joy. His hugs can fill your heart to the brim. He has a wit that rivals many adults—there’s nothing as amusing as a toddler’s well-timed joke. And my daughter? She’s a whirlwind of energy, exploring the wonders of the world at her own pace. Her little footsteps resonate through our home, and that sound is music to my ears. If you’re okay with missing out on all of this, well, that’s quite sad for you.
If you drifted away from my family when my children came into the picture, you left the party before the best part. You picked up your overpriced souvenir T-shirt and walked away when the real adventure began. And I genuinely feel sorry for you. These kids are remarkable, and they have an abundance of love to share.
The Bottom Line
Through much introspection and therapy, I’ve come to this conclusion: To those former friends and family members who ghosted when my children entered this world, if you don’t care enough to engage with the amazing kids you’re missing out on, you simply don’t deserve them. That’s the bottom line.
I hope you have a good life. Seriously. Because we certainly will.
For more insights on becoming a parent, check out our post on the home insemination kit. It’s also worth taking a look at this excellent resource on the IVF process, which can be really helpful for those exploring their options. And if you’re interested in understanding how stress affects fertility, visit this site for authoritative information.
Summary
This article discusses the feelings of abandonment experienced by the author after becoming a parent, particularly from those who have chosen to ignore her children. It emphasizes the joy of parenting and the deep emotional connection to her children, while also reflecting on the loss of friendships that didn’t withstand this life change.