“Mom, I’m sooooo bored.”
Ask any parent, and most will admit that this is one of the most dreaded phrases to hear. We all know that feeling—whether you’re juggling work from home or managing the daily chaos of parenting, a child whining about a lack of entertainment can be incredibly frustrating. And let’s face it, having a kid constantly trailing behind you, begging for amusement, can wear thin rather quickly.
But let’s get real: if your child is bored, it’s not entirely their fault.
In fact, it’s on you.
Yes, you read that right. It’s your responsibility if your child is in the kitchen lamenting that there’s nothing to do. If children lack the skills to cope with boredom, it’s because we, as parents, haven’t taught them how to embrace it. Just like we teach them to brush their teeth or ride a bike, we must help our kids cultivate their creativity when their surroundings feel uninspiring. When a child says, “I’m bored,” what they’re really expressing is, “I’ve exhausted all my options, and now I need your help because I don’t know how to create my own fun.”
Sorry, kiddo, but I’m not your entertainer. Go build a fort or something—this mom has other things to do.
While my approach to boredom may seem indifferent, it’s taken years of guiding my children to become comfortable with it to reach this point. I realized early on that I wasn’t going to be the type of parent who provided constant entertainment. Reflecting on my own childhood, aside from a few instances where my mom played games with us or took us out for ice cream, she was never my playmate—and I was just fine with that.
My siblings and I had to find our own ways to entertain ourselves. We staged musical performances in the living room, raced around the neighborhood on bikes and Big Wheels, engaged in endless games of Monopoly and UNO (complete with arguments over who cheated), and occasionally sought out friends when we needed a break from each other. Gasp—sometimes, we even picked up a book and spent an afternoon lost in our own thoughts.
Boredom sparked creativity during my formative years, but that seems to be less true for many kids today.
At some point, we collectively decided that every moment must be filled with entertainment for our children. With cars equipped with DVD players and iPads at restaurants, screen time is ever-present. We fill our afternoons with sports, clubs, and a dizzying array of birthday parties. Kids can play video games anywhere thanks to technology, leaving them with scant downtime to just sit and be bored.
Therefore, when a child suddenly finds themselves with nothing to do, boredom can feel foreign and uncomfortable. However, a child who learns to transform boredom into creativity will often be the one who rarely utters, “I’m bored.”
We need to equip our children with the tools to self-motivate and feel empowered during unstructured time. Let’s encourage them to seek out more than just sitting on the couch waiting for someone to entertain them. They need to feel in control of their circumstances and develop confidence in their creative abilities.
So how do we nurture this creativity, especially when we struggle to detach from our devices and social media?
We begin by allowing our children to navigate their boredom.
Resist the temptation to suggest activities when they declare they’re bored. Schedule downtime into your daily routine. Even a brief half-hour of quiet time for everyone can significantly enhance creativity and the number of books they read. And yes, that includes you too, parent: put down your phone and forget about the laundry for a bit.
We can say no to iPads at the dinner table and skip the DVD for those short car rides. Does a child really need to watch their favorite show during a quick trip for groceries? Although I enjoy screen time—both for my kids and myself—there are moments when it just becomes overwhelming.
Consider turning off the TV, changing the Wi-Fi password, and seeing what unfolds. Sure, there might be some initial complaints and drama, but if you stand your ground, the wonders of boredom will start to shine through. Your children will eventually discover activities on their own. The more they do so without your intervention, the less frequently you’ll hear the dreaded “I’m boooored.”
While encouraging creativity in my kids has resulted in an abundance of art supplies and a home filled with forgotten science projects and blanket forts, the sounds of their imaginative play remind me that my life is far from dull.
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Summary
Allowing children to experience boredom can foster their creativity and independence. By resisting the urge to entertain them, scheduling downtime, and encouraging self-initiated activities, parents can help their kids develop essential skills for motivation and creativity.