Many of us are familiar with the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Growing up, I often heard this phrase while listening to my mom and her friends discuss parenting. It resonated with me because my mother had her own support network. While my parents were our main caregivers, they often relied on friends and neighbors for help when needed.
In fact, my school emergency contact list included our neighbors right after my mom and dad. During outings, other parents would step in to comment on our behavior, ensuring all children were kept safe. They would warn kids outside their own about potential dangers, like running on wet concrete at the pool. My mom even taught me how to comfort a crying baby in a grocery store or lend a hand to a mother juggling too much. We lived in a community that looked out for one another.
Fast forward 30 years, and as a mother myself, I’ve come to realize that this sense of community has largely vanished. Where is that village now? Occasionally, an older person might help me with a fussy child, but more often than not, I’m met with disapproving stares as people walk by. It seems that the willingness to lend a hand has diminished, leaving many parents feeling isolated.
When my child starts crying in public, I would appreciate someone trying to distract them or intervene if they’re in danger. I keep a close eye on my kids, but sometimes the unexpected happens—like when my other child falls or when my little one reaches for something just out of his grasp.
This topic has sparked conversations between my husband and me. He has a different experience as a father; people often smile at him when he’s out alone with the kids, impressed by his involvement. I sometimes wonder if I’ve just had a few unfortunate encounters. I try to remain hopeful that, should I truly need assistance, someone will step in. However, just last month, when I found myself in urgent need, no one came to help. It struck me then that when I’m out with my kids and without family or close friends, I feel utterly alone.
My youngest is full of energy, almost like a little monkey, and loves to explore. Our local grocery store has small carts for children to push, which seemed like a fun idea—until my youngest figured out how to unbuckle himself. This made it increasingly dangerous to keep him in the cart, so now he walks beside me.
On a day when our usual grocery store was too far to drive, we ventured into the smaller store instead. As I was checking out, my youngest decided to zoom away with his cart, darting past several checkout lines and directly out the sliding doors into the parking lot. Shockingly, not one person attempted to stop him. He raced by cashiers, employees, and shoppers, and yet no one intervened. Thankfully, my oldest quickly jumped into action and chased after him. By the time I made it outside, he was dragging his brother back in, who was kicking and screaming.
As I looked around at the indifferent faces, I couldn’t help but wonder—where has the village gone? Why didn’t anyone help? If I saw a child running toward danger, my instinct would be to intervene, no matter the risk of upsetting the parent. Yet, despite being close, no one moved.
Some of you might be judging my choices. You might think I should leave my kids at home or wonder why I can’t control them better. Let me assure you, I do my best to keep my children safe and well-behaved most of the time. However, sometimes they surprise me with their independence.
Since that incident, I’ve been reflecting on why community support seems to be fading. We live in a world where people fear offending one another, often distracted by their phones and overly cautious about getting involved. Today’s environment feels more perilous, perhaps partly due to the overwhelming coverage of dangers that heightens our anxiety.
Still, I urge you, if you see a child in a risky situation, don’t hesitate to step in. Even if the parent gets upset, it’s far better for the child’s safety. We need to revive that sense of community, for a village is a lonely place without its villagers.
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In summary, the support network that once existed for parents has faded, leaving many feeling isolated. It’s essential to foster a sense of community and support, especially for those experiencing the challenges of modern parenting.