I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop when I overheard a conversation that made me cringe. A well-dressed woman, clearly confident, greeted her friend with enthusiasm. “It’s so nice to see you! How have you been? What are you up to these days?” she asked, her attire sharp and polished.
The response was disheartening. “I’ve been well! Busy, of course. After my daughter was born, I decided to stay home, and now I’m just a stay-at-home mom,” she said, her shoulders slumped, her gaze cast downward.
The word “just” echoed in my mind. Why do we diminish our roles with such language? Can we please eliminate the word “just” from our discussions about our important work at home? There’s no room for that self-deprecating term when you’re nurturing a child; it’s simply unacceptable.
Let’s consider this: How often do you hear someone in other professions use the word “just”? When was the last time a teacher said, “I’m just a teacher,” or a nurse described herself as “just a nurse”? This diminutive language is rarely applied to anyone else’s career. Yet, many women who choose to stay home, often juggling multiple roles, unconsciously belittle their contributions by adding that tiny word—just.
Interestingly, I’ve never heard a stay-at-home dad refer to himself as “just a stay-at-home dad.” Usually, he confidently states, “I stay home with the kids while she works, taking care of meals, errands, and homework.” His confidence reflects the reality of the hard work involved, and he doesn’t shy away from acknowledging it.
Mothers, it’s time to embrace your role with pride. Own it as fiercely as the dads do. You may need to practice, but it’s crucial to resist the instinct to downplay your efforts. When you say, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom,” it sends a message that you’ve settled for less, as if you’re saying, “I couldn’t make it in another field, so I’m here instead.” This is not the narrative you want to project.
Whether you have a GED or a PhD, your role as a stay-at-home mom deserves respect and acknowledgment. Both paths are valid, and everyone contributes uniquely to society. Whether someone is a secretary or a school principal, both are essential to the functioning of a school; neither should be reduced to “just.”
The support and recognition from other women are vital. So, the next time you hear someone say, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom,” or “I just work part-time,” intervene. Remind them, “You’re not just anything.” The women before us fought hard for us to have the freedom to make our own choices, and they would be disheartened to hear us diminish our contributions.
Let’s stand together, united in our roles, and remind each other of our significance. Remember, no one is here to feel like they don’t matter. We all do.
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Summary
It’s time to retire the term “just” when describing our roles as stay-at-home moms. We must embrace our contributions with pride, recognizing their significance and the hard work involved. Let’s support one another in valuing our choices and standing united in our experiences.