“I need to apologize. When you walked in with your children, I made a snap judgment about you,” she said, her voice filled with sincerity.
Last weekend, I entered a restaurant with three of my kids in tow. Dressed in an off-the-shoulder top, skinny jeans, open-toed heels, and a touch of lipstick, I might have given off a vibe that some might not associate with being a “serious” mom.
At 33 years old, I’m the mother of four kids under the age of nine. Many of my days—okay, let’s be honest, most of my days—are spent in pajamas or workout gear. Unless it’s a special event or church, I typically don’t put much effort into my appearance.
However, that night was different. My husband had planned a special outing for our youngest, and I decided to take our three older kids out for dinner and fun at their favorite arcade. I thought it was a great occasion to dress up a bit.
As we walked into the restaurant connected to the arcade, I felt the familiar stares. It’s not unusual for me; after all, moving my children from one place to another can feel like a circus act. But surprisingly, they were well-behaved that evening, their laughter and chatter blending seamlessly with the arcade’s lively atmosphere.
Yet, this woman seemed to have made up her mind about me as soon as we arrived, judging me solely on my appearance. I can only guess what assumptions she held; perhaps she thought I prioritized my looks over my kids.
Maybe she saw me scoop my four-year-old into my lap when she wanted to be closer to me. Perhaps she noticed how I wasn’t shy about being playful with my children in a way that was still appropriate for the setting. Maybe she observed us bow our heads in prayer before our meal or saw me actively engaging with my kids, hopping around from game to game.
Then came the moment I’ll always remember—a gentle tap on my shoulder followed by her heartfelt words: “I’m sorry. I judged you when I saw you walk in with your kids…and I just had to apologize.”
I took a moment to process her words. Instead of probing for more details, I simply placed my hand on her arm, smiled, and replied, “Thank you. That truly means a lot. You didn’t have to say anything, but I’m glad you did.”
Her smile widened, “I needed to. Thank you for opening my eyes tonight.” We shared a quick hug before I dashed off to catch up with my children again.
I didn’t know this woman, and I might never see her again, but her words left a mark. In the journey of motherhood, there’s no room for judgment or assumptions about one another. Instead, there is always space for compassion and understanding.
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In summary, we all have our moments of misjudgment, but it’s essential to approach one another with empathy. We’re all navigating the complexities of parenting together, and there’s no need to add to the pressure with harsh judgments.