For a long time, I dreaded the nightly ritual of putting my children to bed. I adore my kids, but after a full day of parenting—12 to 14 hours—I often felt utterly drained, ready to clock out and take a break. It seemed as though my children could sense this exhaustion and became even more demanding as bedtime approached.
Suddenly, they would develop an uncanny ability to lose focus, getting easily distracted by forgotten toys, claiming to be starving, or feeling an overwhelming desire to engage with our pets. They would meander on their way to the bathroom, and I’d hear, “I’m so thirsty!” or “I just need to finish this masterpiece!” It felt like they transformed into the ultimate procrastinators the moment bedtime rolled around.
This constant diversion turned the bedtime routine into a drawn-out ordeal, filled with nagging, occasional shouting, and threats to revoke screen time indefinitely. Typically, I lean towards gentle parenting, but by the time the clock strikes eight, my patience is worn thin, and chaos reigns.
Yet, amidst the mayhem, something wonderful often unfolds. My kids have always craved snuggles, and those quiet moments spent together in bed have become some of the most treasured experiences of my parenting journey.
During our snuggle time, they pose profound questions about life’s mysteries—the vastness of the universe, the essence of God, what people across the globe are thinking, and even their aversion to broccoli. They transform into little philosophers, and it’s absolutely delightful. These intimate discussions have sparked some of our most meaningful conversations.
Of course, it’s unfortunate that these enlightening exchanges occur when I’m utterly exhausted and yearning for some personal time. However, I’ve come to realize that I can either continue to dread bedtime or embrace it as a typical childhood phase while focusing on the magical moments that follow the chaos.
Shifting my perspective has made a significant difference. Instead of saying, “Why can’t you brush your teeth?” I now encourage them with, “Hurry and get those teeth brushed so we can enjoy our special snuggle time!” Knowing they’ll have that one-on-one time motivates them to hop into bed eagerly.
To keep things manageable, I usually limit each child to a set number of questions, preventing it from dragging on for hours. I’ve learned that quality time doesn’t have to be lengthy to be impactful.
These bedtime snuggles also allow me to share stories from my own life, especially my experiences prior to becoming a parent. They love hearing about my childhood fears, the times I felt left out, and my dreams for the future. This exchange not only strengthens our bond but also gives them insight into their roots and the person guiding them.
Rather than viewing bedtime as a chore, I now see it as an opportunity for connection, away from the daily hustle and bustle. By focusing on the enriching aspects of this routine rather than the logistical challenges of getting them to bed, I’ve found that nighttime can be much more enjoyable for all of us.
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In summary, by changing my approach to bedtime and embracing the moments that matter, I’ve transformed a challenging routine into a cherished time of connection with my children.