During my college years, I was part of the university’s swim team, where we often leaned on a motivating motto: “hard core.” This phrase embodied the essence of resilience, enabling us to push through exhausting practices and face the mental strain of competition. To be considered hard core signified strength, endurance, and self-reliance—a trait that garnered respect and admiration.
However, I’ve never identified as a hard person. I possess a sensitive nature, deeply affected by the emotions and struggles of those around me. I find myself easily moved to tears, reflecting on past interactions and often taking things too much to heart. In essence, I am a softie.
In my early years, I attempted to suppress this softness, convinced that toughness was desirable. I felt societal pressure to stop crying and develop a thicker skin. I tried to adopt a façade of indifference, striving to be hard. Yet, that approach never felt true to me; I don’t want to be indifferent, nor do I wish to harden my heart.
Instead, I choose to embrace my softness, and I aspire for my children to do the same. Recently, my youngest son asked why wealthy individuals don’t simply share their resources with homeless people so that everyone can have a home and food. I smiled and affirmed his compassionate perspective, saying, “That’s a wonderful thought!”
However, I refrained from explaining the complexities of societal views on wealth distribution or the often simplistic interpretations that come with such discussions. I wanted him to drift off to sleep with the belief that his kind heart and thoughtful nature are exactly what the world needs.
Unfortunately, children are frequently bombarded with messages urging them to toughen up, build emotional barriers, and adopt a hard core mentality. In truth, the world needs more empathy and compassion, not more toughness. We should focus on building connections rather than walls; our children should be encouraged to maintain their inherent kindness.
So, I will allow my sons to express their emotions freely. I will remind them to be kind—exceedingly kind—in their interactions. In a world that often pushes for hardness, I believe that the most powerful and resilient choice can be to remain soft.
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In summary, while the world may be challenging, it is our choice to remain soft and compassionate. By nurturing this quality in ourselves and our children, we contribute to a more empathetic and understanding society.