Let’s face it: no parent is perfect. If you think you’ve met one, you haven’t. Raising children to be respectful and dignified individuals is a challenging task, which is why countless parenting resources exist—books, podcasts, and websites abound where parents exchange ideas on effective discipline strategies. Most opt for approaches that involve open dialogue, appropriate consequences, and consistent reinforcement of rules. However, there exists a disturbing trend where some choose to discipline their children through public humiliation.
The advent of social media has exacerbated this issue, with parents sharing demeaning photos and videos of their children—like those showing kids forced to wear embarrassing outfits or hold shameful signs on street corners. These actions are nothing short of child abuse, and it’s time to put an end to such practices.
I want to clarify that I’m not speaking about the occasional frustrated outburst or stern look at a child misbehaving in public. Those are normal reactions in parenting. What I’m addressing is the intentional act of degrading a child for minor infractions—like talking back or lying about a small amount of money. Such overreactions can severely damage a child’s self-esteem and erode their trust in their caregivers. This is where the line must be drawn.
Take, for instance, the viral “Get Along Shirt” meme featuring two upset children squeezed into an oversized shirt, supposedly to force them to resolve their differences. The real punishment? Their images splashed across social media for all to see.
Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Instances of children being made to stand on public corners with signs confessing to their “crimes”—like theft or dishonesty—are becoming increasingly common. These humiliating displays are not only hurtful but also invite public ridicule and judgment, further compounding the damage done to the child’s psyche.
Perhaps the most shocking example I’ve come across is a video circulating on social platforms where a child’s head is shaved against their will, humorously dubbed “The Benjamin Button Special.” Parents claim this approach is a form of discipline intended to teach a valuable lesson. Let’s be clear: humiliation does not impart wisdom; it teaches a child that they are unworthy and that mistakes will lead to public shaming.
Children are inherently impulsive, and it takes compassion, patience, and appropriate guidance to help them learn about acceptable behavior. Alfie Kohn, author of Unconditional Parenting, emphasizes that humiliation breeds distrust. Children subjected to such treatment learn not to view their parents as supportive allies but as enforcers to be avoided. This fear-based relationship is detrimental and can lead to dangerous behaviors as children grow older.
As a parent, I can’t fathom wanting my child to avoid me. My goal is to foster a relationship where they feel safe seeking my guidance and support. For those who have engaged in publicly shaming their children or have endorsed such behavior online, I urge you to reconsider. This practice must stop—for the sake of your children, who deserve better.
In conclusion, public humiliation is not a valid form of discipline; it undermines the parent-child bond and inflicts lasting emotional scars. Instead, let us strive for a more compassionate approach to parenting that emphasizes understanding, trust, and love.