Every new parent has likely been advised to establish a routine and stick with it. I certainly heard this advice often and tried to implement it as best as I could after my first child arrived. With two more kids soon following, I craved some semblance of consistency amidst the chaos of daily life. This is why routines became essential for me.
However, having a routine didn’t guarantee smooth sailing. The reality of parenthood is that days rarely go as planned, especially with multiple children. You quickly learn that you can’t rely on them to sleep or eat as expected, and unexpected messes can happen at the most inconvenient times—like right after you’ve finally settled them into their high chairs at a restaurant. You can only prepare for these unpredictable moments, though even that can feel like a gamble.
During those early years with young children, I held tightly to my routine. It became my anchor. Even when lunch turned into a disaster—complete with a child crying over imperfectly sliced apples—I could look forward to nap time. I knew that if a grocery store outing became overwhelming, I could usually rely on a snack to restore some peace. I had a good grasp on their favorite shows and could hit pause on dinner if needed. Emergencies took precedence; everything else could wait.
I often recognized this sooner rather than later. Moms have a tendency to complicate things by trying to do it all, but I discovered that as long as I knew where my kids were (typically underfoot) and that they were safe, I could manage the day-to-day chaos. The dirty dishes could sit in the sink, laundry could pile up, and we could even go days without getting dressed if I didn’t have the energy.
I could load everyone into the car, buckle them into their seats, and swing by a drive-thru for a caffeine boost. I would sit in the parking lot, staring into space, taking a moment to breathe. There were days when I’d let them cry, simply to get out of the house without a wrestling match. It didn’t matter if their hair was uncombed or if they were dressed for an outing. I needed a change of scenery, and sometimes a cold drink and a side of fries were just what I needed to power through.
In those toddler trenches, I was holding it together—navigating exhaustion, frustration, and the overwhelming pressure to cherish every moment. I found solace hiding in the bathroom or venting to my best friend during nap time. I may not have looked composed, but I was managing.
The beauty of having little ones is that they can lift your spirits in an instant. One moment you’re overwhelmed, and the next they do something utterly adorable that melts your heart. Their laughter, the way they mispronounce words, and those sweet, messy kisses make the tough moments fade quickly, leaving you feeling full of love and hope for their futures.
But now that my kids are older, the challenges have transformed. They are more independent, quiet, and our days can be surprisingly peaceful. While I enjoy the benefits of more sleep and personal time, the issues we face now are significant and don’t pass as quickly. I can’t retreat to the bathroom when my son approaches me to discuss his friends engaging in inappropriate behavior, nor can I simply put my daughter down for a nap when she faces friendship troubles. Their lives are filled with both wonderful and tumultuous experiences, and I must confront these challenges head-on. Fruit snacks can’t solve everything anymore, though they remain a pantry staple.
So yes, I’ve emerged from the trenches, but I find myself struggling even more now. We have to get dressed and leave the house daily, regardless of our moods. My challenges have shifted from sleepless nights with a teething baby to navigating complex social issues and emotional struggles. I no longer have the same resilience I had during the toddler years, and I find myself missing that determination.
Yet, when I witness my daughter extending kindness to a lonely classmate or my son joyfully volunteering at the community center, it makes it all worthwhile. The struggle is real, but it is worth every effort, as it always has been. I must keep pushing through, reminding myself that sometimes a moment of quiet reflection with a Diet Coke can be just what I need to recharge.
For more insights and support on parenting challenges, check out resources like UCSF’s Center and explore father involvement as an essential aspect of family dynamics. Additionally, if you’re interested in home insemination options, see our post on artificial insemination kits for more information.
Summary
Transitioning from the chaos of toddlerhood to the complexities of raising older children presents its own set of challenges. While early parenting comes with its own struggles, the issues faced with older kids can be more significant and harder to navigate. Despite enjoying increased independence and quieter days, the need to confront emotional and social challenges head-on reminds us that parenting is an ever-evolving journey.