When my daughter entered preschool last year, we initially brushed off her struggles as typical behavior for a “challenging child.” She experienced meltdowns when things didn’t unfold as she expected, disrupted circle time, and required frequent guidance from her teacher. We knew she was smart and had grasped concepts at home that she was just beginning to learn in the classroom, so we attributed her behavior to boredom.
As time passed, we noticed more concerning issues. Her emotional regulation became increasingly difficult, and minor incidents would send her into prolonged crying fits. She made repetitive sounds that seemed beyond her control, and she struggled to form friendships.
Recently, she was diagnosed with level 1 autism spectrum disorder, akin to what was once known as Asperger’s syndrome. While she excels academically, she faces challenges in social interactions and emotional management. Anyone who has dealt with preschoolers knows that mastering emotional control is not typically a strong suit at that age.
I began my journey with little knowledge about autism, but as the diagnosis solidified, I immersed myself in research to learn how to support my daughter in navigating her environment. Unfortunately, I discovered that securing the necessary resources for her in our underfunded public school system would be a significant hurdle. I scoured articles and forums, seeking guidance and community support.
What took me by surprise was the backlash I encountered online. I saw frustrated parents lamenting the presence of children like mine in their children’s classrooms, claiming their own kids were being shortchanged. They observed children who behaved differently and attributed their actions to inadequate parenting. They expressed anger over resources that could have been allocated for their children being redirected toward those with special needs.
These parents voiced concerns about large class sizes, insisting that instead of providing individual support for students with special needs, classrooms should be divided to benefit everyone. They seemed oblivious to the fact that children with special needs often require additional assistance and that redirecting a teacher’s attention can detract from the instructional time available for all students.
Moreover, they seemed to disregard the benefits their neurotypical children gain from interacting with peers who are different from them, fostering empathy and understanding. The educational system is already tailored to serve their children, who play a crucial role in modeling appropriate social behaviors for those like my daughter. For children who find interactions complex, being in an inclusive classroom offers invaluable learning experiences.
There’s a saying about how those accustomed to privilege perceive equality as oppression. I wish I could make these parents truly understand that their complaints not only reflect self-interest but also a lack of awareness about the broader implications of educational equity.
One particular comment struck me hard: “They should be with their kind in their own class.” This remark came from a father understandably upset by a disruptive incident in his son’s classroom involving a child with special needs. He felt his child deserved a distraction-free learning environment.
But he was mistaken. Every child has the right to a free and equal education, and achieving that does not mean segregating students. A truly equitable education cannot come at the expense of others. Your child should not be sheltered from those who think or act differently. Your child should learn that not everyone enjoys the same advantages. Your child deserves to grow up in a world that embraces diversity, not one that reinforces barriers.
Before you lament the perceived disadvantages your child faces, consider how you would want your own child treated if they required special education services. Reflect on the fact that the 12 years your child will spend in public school will involve you waking them up and checking their homework, but you won’t have as much influence on their daily experiences as you might think.
Many children with special needs risk being left behind in our public school systems. Those who do receive the necessary services often do so only after navigating a maze of costly advocacy and legal battles.
If you genuinely believe your child is suffering due to the presence of children with special needs, channel that energy into advocating for better funding for schools. Instead of attempting to give your privileged child an unfair advantage by denying others what they need, realize that society as a whole benefits when all its members receive a fair and equal education. Fight for your child’s needs without perpetuating discrimination against mine and others like her.
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In summary, creating an inclusive learning environment not only benefits children with special needs but enriches the educational experience of all students. It is crucial to recognize that everyone deserves equal opportunities to learn and grow in a supportive setting.