Stop Advising Women Trying to Conceive to ‘Just Relax’

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartAt home insemination

In the realm of fertility struggles, a common refrain is often heard: “Just relax, and it will happen,” or “Stop stressing about it.” Perhaps you’ve even come across stories of couples who “forgot” about their challenges and suddenly found themselves expecting. Unfortunately, that narrative is misleading; simply de-stressing won’t resolve fertility issues.

Recent discussions in reputable outlets have condemned the connection between stress and infertility as flawed science and misguided advice. While it’s true that stress can play a role in conceiving difficulties, it is not the sole culprit. According to health expert Mia Roberts, “Stress may contribute, but if there are underlying medical conditions affecting fertility, relaxation alone won’t fix it.” In other words, you could be practicing mindfulness all day long, and it still may not lead to a pregnancy.

The origins of this “just relax” mantra are steeped in historical gender biases. For centuries, society has linked a woman’s ability to conceive with her emotional state. In ancient Greece, for instance, a woman’s supposed “hysteria” was blamed for infertility. This archaic mindset persists today, despite scientific evidence to the contrary.

As fertility specialist Dr. Jamie Collins points out, “You could be on a serene beach vacation and still face challenges with conception.” Her own journey through infertility led her to advocate for a more informed approach to these issues. She emphasizes that while relaxation techniques can be beneficial, they should not replace necessary medical treatments.

To illustrate, Dr. Collins likens the situation to advising a diabetic to simply “relax” and their blood sugar will stabilize. “It’s illogical,” she explains. Conditions such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) or endometriosis can significantly affect a woman’s fertility. The latter can cause blockages in the fallopian tubes, and no amount of relaxation will resolve that—medical intervention is essential.

I can personally relate to this struggle. After being diagnosed with endometriosis, the possibility of conceiving seemed remote. It wasn’t until I sought medical assistance that I experienced success after treatment. While I could certainly have used a bit of relaxation during that time, it was clear that a yoga class alone wouldn’t have resolved my issues.

Dr. Collins expresses concern that the prevailing “just relax” mentality may lead women to neglect seeking proper medical evaluations, such as laparoscopic procedures or hormone treatments, that are crucial for addressing their fertility challenges. “Relaxation can be helpful, but it must accompany medical intervention,” she cautions. Moreover, it’s important to recognize that infertility can also arise from male-related factors, which often go overlooked in this conversation.

It’s essential for couples to understand that infertility affects both partners and can carry psychological and financial burdens. “We need to shift the narrative around infertility, acknowledging how it impacts both individuals in a relationship,” Dr. Collins states. This brings up a pertinent question: why do we never hear anyone telling men to “just relax” in the face of fertility challenges?

Ultimately, it’s vital for women facing fertility issues—and their support systems—to acknowledge that these challenges are often rooted in medical realities far beyond emotional states. While relaxation has its place, it shouldn’t overshadow the importance of seeking medical advice and treatment. As Dr. Collins aptly summarizes, “Never dismiss a fertility issue; it’s crucial to pursue a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.”

For those interested in further exploring fertility options, resources like Cleveland Clinic’s podcast on IVF and fertility preservation and Getting Ready for Baby can provide valuable insights. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, check out this BabyMaker Home IntraCervical Insemination Syringe Kit.

In summary, the notion that women can simply “relax” their way into pregnancy is not only outdated but also dangerous. Fertility challenges are complex and require a comprehensive approach that combines emotional support with medical intervention.