Updated: June 17, 2020
Originally Published: March 6, 2017
Last Saturday, my partner shared some significant news that prompted a flurry of questions over the past few days. I appreciate the curiosity, as it allows me to unpack thoughts and emotions that often require reflection.
For about four or five years now, I’ve recognized my sexual orientation. Growing up, I always felt different. Yet, when I met my soulmate at 18—just a few years older than my daughter is now—and that person was a woman, I convinced myself there was no way I could be gay.
It wasn’t until after Jess and I tied the knot that I began to grasp what I initially saw as my bisexuality. The first person I confided in was Jess, and together we embarked on an unexpected journey. This path is deeply personal, belonging to both of us, and it has shaped who we are as individuals, parents, friends, and partners.
Reflecting on my own experience, I can say that what should have been a straightforward decision became incredibly challenging. Once I accepted my identity, I faced two choices: I could neglect my well-being, which could lead to tragic outcomes for my children, or I could embrace my truth and hope for the continued support of my loved ones. On the surface, it seemed like an easy choice.
However, for many years, I leaned toward the first option, sinking into unhealthy habits and sadness. So, how did Jess and I arrive at this point? What changed for us?
The reality is, nothing changed in our circumstances; we simply reached a point of readiness. I don’t want to suggest that this process has been simple or that we have it all figured out. Our feelings are complex, shaped by a marriage built on a shared secret. Although love alone couldn’t sustain our relationship, it has proven invaluable during these difficult times.
Our children have been remarkable throughout this transition. Each is processing the news in their own way, revealing their true character. Beneath the typical quirks of youth, they show immense compassion and thoughtfulness.
Just today, I bumped into Jess while shopping at Target for our respective homes. We shared a laugh and embraced. I jokingly criticized the decorative pillow she had in her cart, and I’m sure she had her own opinions about the vase I was holding. But seeing each other was a pleasant surprise, one that felt serendipitous.
As we exited the store, feeling unburdened by our shared truth, Jess linked her arm through mine. A few steps away, she turned and asked, “Are you as happy as I am?” And I truly was.
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Summary:
Navigating the complexities of love and identity can lead to profound transformations. In this reflection, Alex Thompson shares the journey of coming to terms with his sexuality and the impact it has had on his relationship with Jess. Their experience highlights that while love may not always be enough to sustain a relationship, it can serve as a powerful force in times of change.