I’ve always had a delicate stomach, but the early days of motherhood took my digestive issues to a whole new level. Shortly after my daughter was born, I began experiencing intense bouts of diarrhea once or twice a month—an experience that honestly felt like I was about to explode from both ends (please forgive the bluntness, but it’s the truth). It was excruciating and left me feeling drained and dizzy. I attributed it to hormonal changes, lack of sleep, or simply “something I ate,” hoping it would just pass.
However, as my daughter hit the age of 2 ½, the situation escalated to daily episodes, making me anxious about stepping outside my front door. There’s never a good time for chronic, painful diarrhea, but having to rush to the bathroom while managing a tantrum-throwing toddler is undeniably one of the worst scenarios. My daughter was remarkably patient, considering she had no idea what I was going through. There were moments when we’d be on our way somewhere, and I’d have to pull over suddenly and dash to a restroom. I remember mornings when I had to cancel plans, leaving her in front of the TV for hours until I could function again.
The symptoms of my IBS were tough to handle on their own, but the challenge of parenting while enduring them was perhaps the hardest part. For months, I felt trapped at home, unable to schedule playdates or outings for fear of my gut acting up. Guilt weighed heavy on me. I despised that my life revolved around my digestive issues rather than my daughter, and I was constantly worried that my anxiety would affect her well-being. I felt like I couldn’t be the mom I aspired to be, which was heartbreaking.
After seeing multiple doctors and specialists, I finally realized that I needed to revamp my diet. I cut out all dairy (which was a major bummer since I love cheese) and adopted the low-FODMAP diet, which has proven effective for many IBS sufferers. The dietary changes made a significant difference, alleviating most of my symptoms. However, I also discovered that stress was a major trigger for my condition. Even after my gut stabilized, I continued to experience residual stress and anxiety related to my IBS and how to parent effectively while managing it—this took years to alleviate.
Occasional flare-ups still happen (and they likely always will), and I often worry about my daughter feeling like she doesn’t have a “normal” mom or a typical life. As she grew older, she began to understand more about my condition, and it broke my heart to hear her say things like, “Mom, please don’t eat anything bad; I don’t want to miss school again.”
Looking back, I realize I was overly sensitive about the situation. Now, years later, I’ve come to accept that I have a sensitive digestive system that requires particular care. I occasionally experience flare-ups that can last for days, but I no longer blame myself for it—and that’s a significant relief. The good news is that my daughter and I navigated through the worst of it. She is thriving, and the missed outings and late mornings have not caused any lasting damage. If anything, these experiences have taught her that life doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s perfectly okay.
Most importantly, living with a mom who has a chronic condition has fostered a sense of compassion in my daughter. She knows when to give me space and doesn’t focus on her own issues when I’m feeling unwell. Although she’s not typically a cuddly child, she always checks on me and offers help when I’m struggling.
Now that I have a younger son, my older daughter—who witnessed my battle with IBS—steps up to help care for him during my flare-ups. It’s a beautiful sight, not only because it provides me with much-needed support, but also because it’s heartwarming to see her nurturing her little brother while I take care of myself.
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In summary, parenting while dealing with IBS is undeniably challenging. Yet, through acceptance and adaptation, both my daughter and I have grown from the experience, learning resilience and compassion along the way.