Five years ago, I welcomed my precious baby boy into the world, unsure of what motherhood would entail. My partner and I were complete novices when it came to babies, and honestly, we were terrified. We had zero experience with diaper changes, bottle feedings, or even holding a newborn. If we couldn’t manage to keep a succulent alive, how could we care for a baby?
To our astonishment, the initial parenting experience was smoother than expected. Our son latched onto breastfeeding and bottle-feeding with ease (and rarely spit up), started sleeping through the night at just six weeks, and generally seemed content. We felt like we had lucked out—what was all the fuss about?
However, the arrival of our second child has introduced us to a different reality. We now have what I affectionately refer to as a “velcro baby.” For those unfamiliar with the term, a velcro baby is one that refuses to be separated from you, screaming at the top of their lungs if you dare try. Their happiness is entirely contingent on being snuggled in your arms.
While this may sound idyllic—and it often is—there are moments when a parent just needs a minute to themselves, whether to use the restroom or attend to personal grooming. A velcro baby wants to be close to you at all times; they want to eat on you, sleep on you, play on you, and yes, even take care of their business while you’re in the vicinity (thankfully, in a diaper). If you find yourself blessed with this delightful challenge, here are some survival tips.
1. Invest in a Baby Carrier
If you don’t already own a Baby Bjorn, Moby wrap, or similar baby-wearing device, head to your nearest Target immediately. These carriers are life-savers, allowing you to multitask while keeping your baby close. You can cook, do laundry, or even attempt to apply some makeup (though let’s be honest, who has time for that with a newborn?). Plus, you’re getting a workout by carrying your little one around—who needs the gym?
2. Seek Help When Needed
It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to halt all activities just to hold your baby around the clock. We all have commitments like jobs or other children. So, recruit some help, quickly. Whether it’s a family member, a babysitter, or even the friendly stranger at the grocery store who offers, the answer should always be “YES.” With no family nearby, I made the tough choice to send my baby to a Mother’s Day Out program two days a week. It’s been a game-changer for my sanity and has provided my baby with valuable socialization. I’ve been told she doesn’t cry when I’m not around—apparently, she’s already a little actress at just three months old.
3. Let Them Cry Occasionally
While it can be heart-wrenching to see your baby cry, it’s essential to accept that crying is a part of babyhood—especially with a velcro baby. You might want to invest in earplugs or a sound machine to help you cope. Trust me, your baby will be just fine, and studies suggest that, in moderation, it’s healthy for them. After all, our parents let us cry, and we survived just fine. I’m sure they left us in our cribs while they sipped coffee next door. Gosh, why wasn’t I a parent then? I could’ve easily won “Mom of the Year” in the ‘70s.
4. Create a Sleep Transition Strategy
To ensure you get enough rest, you’ll need to develop a plan for transferring your baby from your arms to the crib. This process can feel like a circus act. I always change their diaper, dim the lights, and dress them in sleep clothes before the final feeding. Once that’s done, I text my partner to come help me with the delicate transfer. After we succeed, we might even sneak out of the room like ninjas—okay, maybe it’s not that dramatic, but it requires some serious skill. Just have your strategy ready.
5. Engage in Social Activities
Getting out of the house with your baby is crucial for both their social development and your own well-being. Consider joining a local gym class or a music group where you can hold your baby while engaging in activities. This not only allows you to meet other adults but also introduces your baby to new experiences. I’ve become quite the social butterfly lately, attending gatherings where friends are eager to hold the baby. It’s a win-win; they get their baby fix, and you can sip on a margarita in relative peace. Sometimes, a 20-minute break is all a mom needs.
Though it can be challenging when it feels like another human is permanently attached to you, remember that this phase is temporary. With my first child, I focused too much on chores and responsibilities rather than cherishing those moments. Being forced to hold my newborn has helped me slow down and appreciate my growing family. Who really needs spotless dishes or perfectly folded laundry anyway?
Additional Resources
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Summary
Navigating the challenges of parenting a velcro baby requires creativity and support. From wearing your baby to seeking help, letting them cry, and planning sleep transitions, these strategies can maintain your sanity. Engaging in social activities also promotes your baby’s development and gives you a much-needed break. Ultimately, this phase is temporary, offering precious moments to bond and cherish.