There were moments when I felt a tinge of resentment towards you, particularly during your medical school years while I transitioned into the role of a stay-at-home mom. You seemed oblivious to the challenges I faced. My world revolved around our child, and I often felt overwhelmed and isolated.
While you maintained a life outside of parenthood, I put my aspirations on hold to support yours. We often found ourselves moving from place to place, living out of suitcases. I recall one time we shared a cramped basement room in Staten Island. For years, I was the one awake at all hours, providing comfort as the only constant in a life filled with chaos.
Whenever you had a day off, I would whisk our toddler away at the crack of dawn, allowing you and our roommate to catch some extra sleep, though I sometimes couldn’t shake the feeling of bitterness. I remember a day, walking to our neighborhood bakery with our little one in tow, muttering to myself, “I could do all this alone.”
Given life’s unpredictable nature, I’ve actually pondered whether I could thrive on my own. After five years as a stay-at-home mom, I’ve questioned my ability to provide for myself. Emotionally, I might be okay, but could I truly secure food and shelter? I never imagined I would wonder about such things, but I’ve come to realize that yes, I would manage. I’m a determined individual, and perhaps that’s why staying home has been challenging.
I would find a way, though there would be hurdles to overcome. You are the dreamer, crafting our lives around your aspirations. Your career as a doctor is what would grant us the freedom and adventure we dream of in places like Costa Rica. I can’t envision life without you, and my only notion of home is wherever we are together. I wouldn’t venture into the jungle alone, nor would I return to New Jersey, despite my sister living there. After spending so long in Florida, I’ve grown accustomed to the outdoor lifestyle and warm weather.
Now that you’re in residency, sometimes working an exhausting 26 days a month and 27 hours a day, I understand that I technically could handle everything myself. I manage bags, children, and chores like a pro. I tackle cleaning tasks while simultaneously playing hide-and-seek. I’ve even turned grocery runs into fun outings for cookies, all while preparing meals with one hand. But despite my capabilities, I eagerly await your return, not because I desperately need help with the next diaper change or sippy cup filling, but simply because I want you here.
I don’t require you to carry scooters or remind the kids about climbing trees during family walks; I crave your companionship and conversation. I can put dishes away and find that missing shoe alone, but with you, our laughter is amplified, and coffee tastes richer. I can certainly help our kids drift off to sleep solo, but when we stroll together, the moon seems to shine brighter, prompting me to pause and take it all in.
I can take our son to karate by myself, but when that adorable little girl rushes to partner with him, or when another boy helps him perfect his jump kicks, I notice the sweetness but don’t laugh as I would if you were there. I don’t need you to share parenting duties out of necessity; I want you to share in the joy of it all. With you, the delightful moments are heightened, and even the challenging times feel lighter. Life is simply richer with you by my side.
We don’t just co-parent; we co-experience life. Together, we create and reflect on a shared reality that deepens our connection. When I witness a stunning sunset and you say, “Look at that!” it validates my perception and makes the colors feel even more vibrant.
I don’t fundamentally need you for practical reasons; I need you to truly know me. You understand my laughter and can sense when I’m silent. You embrace my insecurities alongside my strengths, and your comprehension of who I am offers me a sense of reassurance. We’re two souls from the same origin, discovering more of ourselves through one another.
In conclusion, while it’s true that I could survive without you, I need you for infinitely more than mere survival.
For more insights into home insemination, check out this detailed resource on intrauterine insemination. If you’re interested in exploring home insemination options, consider visiting this link for a great product. And for those curious about the latest baby name trends in Hollywood, this article is worth a read.
Summary
:
This heartfelt letter reflects on the challenges and joys of parenting and partnership. While the author acknowledges their capability to manage alone, they express a deep desire for companionship, joy, and shared experiences with their partner throughout their journey of parenthood.