When I first met my partner, I was struck by how passionately he advocated for feminist ideals. I believed in gender equality too, but I often shied away from discussing it. Like many women, I craved approval from others. While he eloquently addressed pay disparities and systemic sexism, people would nod in agreement, admiring his insights. In contrast, when I brought up similar topics, the reactions were often uncomfortable, dismissive, or even bored. Society tends to frown upon women who assert their needs, making me feel greedy for wanting something as basic as a private space to use my breast pump. I would think of women facing far graver injustices elsewhere, like those in Saudi Arabia, convincing myself that my struggles were insignificant.
So, I opted for silence. I watched my partner engage in discussions about women’s rights, feeling a mix of confusion, gratitude, and a hint of resentment. It took me years to understand why: I was envious. He could speak out without facing repercussions, while I felt stifled.
Then, one day, I looked at my three children—two daughters and a son—and realized that staying quiet was not an option. What if my son aspired to be a stay-at-home dad? What if one of my daughters wanted to pursue a career in law enforcement? I recognized that risking being labeled as “demanding” or “angry” was a small price to pay for the chance to advocate for equality and create a more inclusive world. Gradually, I began to reclaim my feminist identity.
Small victories fueled my resolve. When I confided in colleagues about my plans to report a superior who was intimidating me, they dismissed my concerns as overly sensitive. However, my actions paved the way for another colleague to come forward months later, lending her credibility to her complaint. I was on the path to becoming a confident feminist advocate.
During my research on feminism, I stumbled upon numerous quotes from women apologizing for their beliefs, trying to distance themselves from the so-called “angry feminist” stereotype. It was disheartening. But then I found a powerful quote from Helen Mirren: “I think every woman in our culture is a feminist. They may refuse to articulate it, but if you were to take any woman back 40 years and say, ‘Is this the world you want to live in?’ they would say ‘no.’”
Mirren’s words resonated deeply. Women should no longer apologize for wanting equality. We must champion both men and women who advocate for equal pay and stop silencing those discussing issues like breastfeeding in public. Women’s experiences in the workplace are often dismissed, and it’s crucial to acknowledge this imbalance.
I’ve come to realize that when my partner makes a statement about gender equality, he receives applause, whereas I might be labeled as preachy for saying the same thing. This isn’t a reflection of our characters or communication styles; it’s indicative of the societal framework we navigate. Thus, it’s vital to continue these conversations.
It’s perfectly fine to disagree with someone, but it’s essential to question the reasons behind that discomfort. If you found the Women’s March on Washington off-putting, would you have felt the same about a Men’s March advocating for women’s rights? Likely not; men would be hailed as progressive and compassionate.
Remember, supporting women doesn’t mean opposing men. Gender equality benefits everyone, and it’s imperative that we keep discussing it for the sake of future generations. So, go ahead and give a high five to a feminist, whether male or female, and embrace the day.
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In summary, embracing feminism and advocating for equality is essential, not just for ourselves but for future generations. Understanding the societal dynamics at play can empower us to speak out without apology.