“What on earth happened here?” was the first thing my partner exclaimed upon entering our home last week. I can’t fault him for that question; I would have asked the same if our roles were switched. The scene was chaotic—dress-up outfits strewn across the living room, the playroom floor buried under paper scraps and markers, and ribbons adorning our furniture like a festive disaster. I looked disheveled, and my kids were running around in their pajamas.
That day had spiraled out of control. We arrived at our 9 a.m. swimming lesson only to find the parking lot overflowing due to a school swimming carnival. Just as I was about to lift the stroller out of the car, rain started pouring. After dropping my toddler off at her grandparents’, I rushed to lunch with the baby, who, thanks to a totally disrupted sleep schedule, was in full-on cranky mode. To top it off, my potty-training toddler had a monumental accident that I won’t delve into.
The one bright spot of that day was a highly anticipated playdate. My daughter and her friend transformed into princesses, mermaids, lions, and dragons, hosting a delightful “party” complete with hand-drawn invitations, ribbons, and stickers. As they reveled in their imaginative play, my friend and I savored cups of tea and chatted about life, venting our frustrations about parenting toddlers. We discussed everything from vacations to work, enjoying uninterrupted time, except for the occasional request for snacks or to investigate the quiet moments.
Before we knew it, dusk had arrived, and we had to say our goodbyes, gearing up for the familiar dinner, bath, and bedtime routine. On some days, I feel invincible, managing to get both kids to sleep simultaneously, responding to emails, and serving dinner on time—all while keeping the house in order. Those days are a breeze, and I feel like I have everything under control.
But then there are the other days. Days when toys are scattered far beyond the playroom, laundry sits in the machine for days begging for attention, and dinner consists of chicken nuggets and cheese slices. Bath time becomes an afterthought, and bedtime stretches longer than it should.
I genuinely enjoy preparing dinner and taking pride in a tidy home. I love knowing that everyone has clean clothes and fresh bedsheets. However, I also cherish those moments of tea, friendship, and personal time. Sometimes, I relish letting go of the need for control, opting not to shout commands: “Pick that up!” or “Stop leaving toys everywhere!” Occasionally, I just want to shut the door behind me, leaving the chaos for another day.
At the end of the day, you do what you must—whether it’s placing a crying baby in their crib for a breather or enjoying a cup of tea with a friend while your kids wreak havoc in the house like a tornado, leaving a trail of stickers in their wake. What’s the point of maintaining a pristine home if it leaves you exhausted and overwhelmed? Remember to care for yourself just as you would for your children, your home, or even your favorite shoes that you keep in pristine condition.
So, on that night when my partner walked in and posed his question, I paused to survey the clutter. I knew the cleanup would take a while, but I felt happy, and my kids were too. What began as a rough morning had blossomed into a lively afternoon filled with laughter. I turned to him and replied, “Sanity happened here.”
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In summary, embracing the messiness of family life can often lead to a greater sense of balance and happiness. Finding joy amidst chaos is key to maintaining your sanity as a parent.