I don’t have a dramatic infertility tale to share. Many of you might not even realize that I faced challenges in this area. Given that I now have twins, some of you may have speculated or even asked in your own thoughtful ways—were you surprised? Do twins run in your family? Did you know you were having twins?
My journey is straightforward, but it certainly isn’t thrilling. We easily conceived our first child, but attempts for a second were met with difficulty. After consulting various doctors, I took medications that altered my body and mood, endured numerous emotional ups and downs, and faced a series of unsuccessful intrauterine inseminations (IUIs). Eventually, I learned I had poor egg quality, which led us to the conclusion that IVF (in vitro fertilization) was our best path forward.
During this arduous time, I chose not to share my experiences. It wasn’t out of embarrassment, but rather a desire to avoid the unwanted questions and pitying glances. I didn’t want every conversation to revolve around my fertility struggles, nor did I want friends to feel uncomfortable with what to say. I also didn’t want to hear unsolicited advice like, “You’ll get pregnant when you stop trying” or “It’s all in God’s plan.”
When we opted for IVF, I was acutely aware of the controversy surrounding it and didn’t want to jeopardize my friendships over differing opinions. Ultimately, it became a private matter, no longer just my story but also one involving my future children.
Now, my perspective has evolved. I take pride in my children and want them to know how deeply they were desired and loved, even before conception. IVF was an arduous journey, both emotionally and financially. The fear of this being our last chance loomed heavily as we prepared for the process. We went on a beach trip beforehand, and I found a bracelet that read, “The Lord will fight for you. You need only be still,” which I wore throughout my treatment.
The IVF process was fraught with uncertainty. The initial assessments suggested we might only have one viable egg, which was terrifying. After what felt like an eternity of injections and tests, we finally had nine eggs retrieved, all of which fertilized. Despite my initial goal for a single healthy pregnancy, my heart swelled for those two embryos I had transferred.
When I received the positive pregnancy test, disbelief washed over me, quickly replaced with overwhelming gratitude. The joy was palpable as we approached our first ultrasound—only to find out we had triplets instead of twins. The revelation that one of the embryos hadn’t survived was bittersweet; it took time to process the loss during such a joyful period.
Today, we have three healthy boys and four frozen embryos awaiting our decision. I love those embryos just as I love my living children. But do I consider them alive? No, they require a nurturing environment to grow. I do not believe they possess the same rights as my children. However, those advocating for the “personhood” bill seem to think otherwise, which would have dire implications for IVF.
This legislation suggests that life begins at fertilization, potentially criminalizing our IVF journey. If this bill becomes law, it could jeopardize the legality of IVF procedures, making it harder for couples like mine to conceive. Would healthcare providers face legal consequences for embryos that don’t develop as expected? Would women with uterine health issues be barred from pursuing pregnancy due to increased miscarriage risks? Would my frozen embryos be left without options?
While I don’t anticipate this bill passing, I’m furious that it has been reintroduced. If you support the personhood bill, you stand against what made my children’s lives possible. I’m no longer afraid to voice my feelings on this matter; supporting this bill means you oppose my family.
As for our frozen embryos, we’re still deliberating their future. We have hopes for their potential, whether that means transferring them ourselves or allowing another couple to give them a chance at life. Regardless, they are not lives at this moment.
For those navigating similar journeys, consider exploring resources like this podcast on IVF and fertility preservation for guidance. You can also check out this article on fertility options that offers useful insights. Additionally, for more information on navigating your fertility journey, take a look at this helpful blog post.
In summary, supporting the personhood bill undermines the experiences of couples who have gone through IVF. It could jeopardize their ability to conceive and navigate their unique journeys.