When life is going well, it seems natural to revel in that happiness. Yet, I’ve found myself doing the opposite, and it turns out I’m not alone in this struggle. Finding solace in shared experiences can be comforting, especially for those grappling with similar emotions.
I’m fortunate to have a wonderfully supportive partner, three lively children, a cozy home, nourishing meals, and love surrounding me. In short, my life is filled with blessings, and I should be a content person—most of the time, I am. However, I also experience unsettling feelings that have lingered for years. I often refer to these feelings as “intrusions,” which tend to pop up at the worst moments, following a particular pattern:
- Life is undeniably great, and I am truly blessed.
- Something awful is going to happen to my loved ones.
I witness sadness and misfortune in the world and among those around me, while I strive to savor the joy in my own life. Sure, my life isn’t flawless, but when I gain a little perspective, those imperfections seem insignificant. Yet, instead of cherishing my blessings, I found myself anticipating disaster, convinced I deserved it. It became a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Then came an experience that rearranged my perspective entirely. On New Year’s Day, my family gathered at my parents’ house. After dinner, I heard my mother call me in a stern tone using my full name—a tone reminiscent of my childhood when I was in trouble.
I dashed upstairs to find her holding my 2-year-old son, Oliver, in a way that signaled something was terribly wrong. Panic welled up inside me as I yelled for someone to call 911, rushing to my child’s side. His lifeless body and blank expression filled me with an indescribable fear. In that moment, I felt him slip away.
My mind raced to conclusions. I feared he was choking, and I quickly attempted first aid. After several attempts to revive him, hope flickered when his eyes blinked open. I felt a wave of relief as he began to recover just as emergency services arrived.
It turned out that he had experienced a febrile seizure due to a sudden spike in fever—something I had not anticipated. Thankfully, he returned to his usual self, though I remain vigilant about monitoring his temperature.
That traumatic experience left me shaken. I spent nearly two minutes believing I was losing my child, and the emotional toll was profound. I’ve been working to shake off the lingering fear and anxiety, and while some memories still haunt me, I am healing.
Throughout this ordeal, I’ve received immense support and learned a crucial lesson: happiness is not burdened by liability. It simply exists. My perception of grace had warped into a belief that joy was always accompanied by impending doom. This backward thinking held me hostage, preventing me from fully embracing the beauty in my life.
With this newfound awareness of life’s fragility, I’m committed to relishing every moment and counting my blessings without hesitation. If you’re interested in exploring the journey of home insemination, you can find valuable insights in this related article on home insemination kits. For those seeking more information on fertility, this resource on in vitro fertilisation is quite helpful. Also, if you’re looking for advice on health precautions, check out this authority on face masks.
Summary:
This article reflects on the journey from anxiety to gratitude, highlighting the importance of cherishing life’s blessings rather than fearing potential misfortunes. A personal experience involving a child’s medical emergency serves as a catalyst for change in perspective, emphasizing the value of support and the need to embrace joy without hesitation.