By: Jordan Miller
Updated: Jan. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 18, 2023
It’s not long after welcoming your baby into the world before you find yourself venting about them. This is part camaraderie with other adults and part therapy. Let’s face it—sometimes kids can be a handful, and you need to vent about it.
“Just when I thought I had him settled after his bath, he decided to have a major blowout in his pajamas.”
“She refuses to sleep! I rock, sing, sway, and coo, but she just won’t close her eyes. I think she’s plotting against me! Just wait until she’s older, and I wake her up at 2 a.m.”
When they’re infants, this kind of talk doesn’t really matter because they’re completely oblivious to it all. But as they grow, they become more aware of their surroundings. They learn names, pick up on words, and start to understand the context of conversations. Before you know it, they’re grasping what’s being said, and those words shape their developing minds and personalities.
This is why it’s crucial to refrain from venting about your kids in front of them—or within earshot.
It’s one thing to have constructive discussions about their behavior. If they’ve thrown sand at another child or shouted an inappropriate word at preschool, that’s a moment to address their actions calmly and lovingly, helping them learn acceptable behavior. Those conversations are vital to parenting.
However, if your child has refused to nap all day, turned your walls into a makeshift art project with nail polish, and tossed their entire toy collection at the TV, don’t confront them directly with insults. Don’t even voice your frustrations when they’re nearby and conscious. I know you need to release that pent-up frustration. You might need to talk about how out-of-control your child was that day, but it shouldn’t be at their expense. Save it for when they’re asleep or when you’re away, perhaps in the parking lot after shopping while they’re safe at home with a partner. Reach out to a friend, your mom, or even a therapist—whoever can lend an ear and validate your feelings.
Here’s the thing: It’s perfectly acceptable to vent about your kids; it’s necessary. Bottling it up would be unhealthy. Just make sure you choose the right time and place. Sharing your fears about raising a difficult child with friends, texting your partner, or releasing your feelings after they’re tucked in at night are all appropriate moments to express frustrations. Scream, cry, and let it out—just make sure your little one isn’t around to absorb any negativity.
It may seem harmless to discuss little Timmy’s struggles in kindergarten while he’s sitting at the dinner table, deep in thought over his mashed potato sculpture. But kids are always listening and processing. They might feel ashamed or think something is wrong with them if they catch wind of such discussions.
Parents need to be aware of the impact their words can have on their child’s emotional well-being. While some might argue against being overly cautious, considering the emotional development of our children is crucial. It’s about fostering well-adjusted and confident adults who don’t resort to name-calling in conversations.
In conclusion, it’s essential to recognize that we can and should talk about our kids—we just need to ensure that we do it away from them. This protects their fragile self-esteem and ensures they grow into secure individuals. For more insights into parenting challenges, check out this excellent resource on in-vitro fertilization and consider learning more about enhancing fertility with our fertility booster for men. For expert advice on related topics, visit Lisa Johnson, our Senior Marketing Strategist.